CHAPTER18
We don’t.
We don’t have sex.
But there’s a bit more petting, and when we finally leave the club and Ace drives me back, at every stop sign and red light, my hand might rub a certain area of his body.
There’s still that line, though, and as much as Ace pressured me earlier, he doesn’t even mention anything about his thick cock filling my hole.
Once I’m in my room, I head to the shower, and yes, I masturbate. While thinking about Ace. Pretending that things had gone a little differently at the club. That he had his dance to the edge of the dance floor. That he had me against the wall. That he lifted my skirt, flashing my bare ass cheeks to everyone before he unzipped and released his cock and then released his load deep inside me.
I might have had others watch me have sex, but I haven't had it in a public place.
Yet.
That will change one day. The only question is which guy will be the one to do it.
I wake up the next morning, and I reach for my phone. For two weeks now, the first thing I would do in the morning is text Rob. He was the first person I would think of when I woke and the last one I would think of before I went to bed at night.
And habits die hard.
To the point that I text my customary text and send it before I can think better of it.
Hey, handsome. You awake?
Shit. I almost forgot. How could I forget? Rob broke up with me, and if he knew what I did last night… I have no right to be jealous at all about Rob and the waitress and whatever they might've done last night. I never really could understand Rob's past, how he could be so casual with the girls he was fucking, how he could sleep with them a few times and then move on to the next.
I know that makes me seem like a hypocrite, but I really think that I couldn’t do what he does. I can’t just sleep with a guy and ditch him, trade him in for another. I need an emotional connection to the guy I’m going to be with. Any other guy, I wouldn’t have done what I did with Ace, and we still hadn’t slept together.
We won’t, either. I’m not ready for that.
Even though I showered last night before bed, I shower again, more or less so I can finally have a good cry. I can't say I feel any better when I get out of the shower, but I force myself to get dressed and put on makeup.
I opt to grab a banana and an apple from the café and eat them on the walk to my first class. It’s hard to concentrate, but I do my best.
Lunchtime. Sometimes, I would see the guys there, and the thought has me freaking out. I can’t face Rob right now, and I don’t know if I want to see Ace either. I mean, I had a blast with him. Don’t get me wrong, but I can’t handle just being casual, and I’m also not ready for a relationship.
I’m hurting, and I don’t know what to do.
But I don't have money to spend on lunch off campus, so I head to the café, get a sandwich and bottle of water, and duck out of there, not brave enough to look out at the tables to see if the guys are here or not. My heart aches too much. I would rather not see any of them right now.
I hurry out of there, intent on eating back in my room before going to my afternoon classes. Along the way, though, I spy an empty bench and opt to sit there.
I’ve eaten only three bites when I start to people watch.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the girl who likes to insult her guy.”
I stiffen and turn around to see Gabe standing behind the bench.
He crouches down, arms crossed on the top of the back of the bench. “You really think you can hurt my boy and there be no consequences?”
I grit my teeth, fuming. No way in hell am I going to accept that he’s bullying me again.
“You can think whatever you want of me, but you don’t know what’s going on in his life or in mine—”
“If you think I don’t know what’s going on in his life, you’re wrong,” he snaps. “I know him better than you do.”
“You probably do, but then again, I know things about him that you don’t.”