Fuck, that makes me such a jealous whore, doesn’t it? I know Erika would yell at me for thinking that, but I can’t help it. Am I that desperate for love and affection that I’m not happy with the attention of only one guy? What does that say about me?
Well, it does suggest that I’m not worried about Mom at least if I’m caught up in this boyfriend bullshit. It’s all because of Declan. I can truly relax because he’s watching over her, and my father showing up also proves he’s not sure where my mom is. She’s safe.
But I’m not. My father is messing with my head, and the guys are all tugging at my heartstrings, and I’m the one who is going to end up fucked and not in a good way.
“Just say the word, and I’ll kiss you senseless,” Ace whispers.
“Let me think…” I bite my lower lip and then shake my head. “No. Sorry. Be a good boy.”
“You insult me.”
"By calling you a boy? A real man doesn't try to poach his friend's girl away."
“You can’t deny that there’s something between us.”
“There’s definitely something between Rob and me.”
“And you and me.”
“Rob.” That’s all I say.
“Why can’t you date us both?”
Holy hell, is he trying to corrupt me.
And a part of me wants to let him.
But I won’t. I won’t cross the line and cheat, but he’s definitely winning in the corruption game.
“Goodnight, Ace.”
“Think about it,” he calls after me. “Dream about me tonight!”
I just shake my head and keep on walking.
* * *
Yeah, so much for that walk sobering me up. I wake up the next morning hungover, although it’s not quite as bad as the other time, so I have that going for me.
And I do my best to be the best version of myself that I can be. I need to behave and pull myself together.
Because what I dreamed about last night cannot and will not happen.
I don’t know. Ace mentioned the threesome, and I talked to him and Rob last night, and so… yeah… I had an amazingly hot dream about the two of them and having them at the same time. It was incredible, and let’s just say it’s a good thing it made me wake up early because I needed some extra time in the shower this morning.
But now, I’m back and better than ever. Robyn and I meet for breakfast, and we talk for a bit. Several of her other friends are there, and I think they’re starting to accept me as one of them.
My classes go well, too, thankfully, and I’m starting to feel like I can do this. I can figure everything out. Nothing is going to stop me.
I figure that I’ll worry about my homework and classes first. Boys second. It should just be one friend, but it is what it is. To the library I go since I don’t know if Lauren is in the room, and I need to focus and not be distracted at all.
And for a good hour or so, I get to work, and everything is going well. I’ve learned my mistake from the incident with my father, who thankfully hasn’t shown his face anywhere on campus as far as I know. Thank God I did all of my searching and researching for bodyguards on my phone and not my laptop because if my father had been able to find my mom because of me and my carelessness, I never would forgive myself.
For the most part, if someone swings by my table, looking at the shelves for a book, I don’t do more than get a quick glimpse to make sure it’s not a friend wanting to say and return to work. Of course, eventually, someone’s there that I know.
“I didn’t think you were the studious type,” I whisper to Zac, mindful of the other students nearby working on their computers or else reading or studying.
“I didn’t think you know all that much about me.”