I suck in a breath.
“And don’t expect me to apologize for that,” she continues. “You get in your own way all the time. Here is such a thing as a long-distance relationship. You should’ve gotten that boy’s name and number. You could be just as happy and in love as I am, but no. Ever since Erika ran off, you’ve been nothing but a miserable bitch.”
"Well, excuse me, but my best friend ran away because her father murdered her mother, or did you forget? And her father was the head of a mafia? And now my father, your husband, is the head of a mafia? And I'm pretty sure he's killed people, or else he had them killed, so, yeah, excuse me if I'm not all rainbows and happiness. The world is a dark place, Mom, and you should know that better than anyone."
“No.”
“No? No what?” I demand.
“I don’t believe your father would have done such a thing.”
“No? Look, I get that you don’t want to think that you married a murderer, but people change. People become ambitious and power-hungry, and—”
“He isn’t all bad.”
I wince and rub my temple. She’s going to give me a headache. “Mom…”
“I don’t want to get back together with him,” she says. “Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous. Declan is everything I could have asked for and more, but I’ve been thinking. If I could just talk to your father and get him to stop, all of this nonsense would go away. If we can be on the same page—”
“You want to be on the same page as a murderer?”
“He is not a murderer!”
“I might not have proof, but trust me, Mom, he’s involved in some seriously terrible shit.”
“I think he can be saved.”
I can’t help it. I burst out laughing so hard that I have to wipe away tears.
“He can’t be saved. He’s gone, and he’s going to hell.”
“Kathleen Margaret! You should not be talking about your own father like that!”
“He’s not my father anymore, and I thought you wanted to divorce him. Why would you want to save him unless a part of you wants to get back together with him? And if you love Declan so much, you shouldn’t even be thinking about my father.”
My mom sighs heavily. “You really do ruin everything.”
“Yes. I’m a killjoy. Just call me Katie Killjoy. Mom, seriously—”
“The only reason why I left him in the first place was because of you. I was afraid for you… and all of the hysteria… the bodyguard… I mean, it’s wonderful. Everything happens for a reason. God has a plan, and—”
“God?” I interrupt and blink a few times. I know she said she’s been going to mass, but my family has never been religious. I mean, I do believe in God to some extent, but I don’t go to mass or follow any one particular religion.
“Yes. God has a plan. He always wanted me to end up here, with Declan, but God forgives. He forgives, and we’re supposed to forgive others, and if I can talk to your father and make him see the light—”
“He’s gone, Mom,” I say flatly. “He’s gone to the darkness, and hell has its claws in him, and he’s never coming back. If anything, if you talk to him, he’s going to be the one to corrupt you and drag you down with him. Do not talk to him.”
“I’m a grown woman, and I know what is best far better than a little girl.”
“Okay, Mom. Thanks for that.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Just don’t talk to Father yet. You and I, we should talk to Kyle about this, and we can decide together what is best moving forward. Okay?”
“I don’t need permission from you or Kyle.”
And she hangs up.
Fuck.