I ask the driver to take us back to the airport, and to any one of the hotels. I don’t care which, I just need to sleep. I turn my phone on and wait for it to power up. When it does, the image on my home screen tells me exactly why Zara took my phone. Aria. Beautiful, perfect Aria. A picture of the two of us wrapped up in each other’s arms fills the screen, and we look so happy. I touch the image, my fingers brushing over her cheek. I can’t imagine what she must be feeling right now. I’ve spent the last week and a half thinking Zara was my girlfriend, when all the time, she was. No wonder I hadn’t seen her around the house; I bet she couldn’t stand to be there. Clicking into my photos, I see picture after picture of Aria, some with Jacob and some with me. She’s smiling in all of them, and I suddenly realize I haven’t seen a smile that genuine on her face since the day I woke up at hospital, only for it to be dashed when I asked for Zara. God, I’ve been an idiot.
“Ria!” Jacob shouts, and I jump, lost in my thoughts. Looking across at him, I smile when I see him looking at my screen. I can hear the excitement in his voice, and I know how much he loves her.
“Yeah, buddy. It’s Aria. Shall we go back to the ranch and see her?”
“Yes!” he cries, kicking his legs in his car seat.
I lean forward. “Change of plan,” I say to the driver. “Could you take us to departures?”
“Sure. Eager to get somewhere?” he asks.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
Dragging my eyes off the images of Aria, I open Google and search for flights to Austin. There’s one leaving in a few hours, and I book us two tickets. I can sleep on the plane. I’m too eager to get back to Aria. Even if I did book a hotel room, I doubt I’d sleep. When I’ve finished booking the tickets, I pull up her number, my fingers hovering over the call button. I want to speak to her desperately, but what I have to tell her will sound better in person. In less than twenty-four hours, she’ll be in my arms, and hopefully this nightmare will be over.
Aria
After a fitful night’s sleep, I drag my tired body into the bathroom. Gripping on to the vanity, I lift my head, wincing when I see my reflection. I look exhausted, and my eyes are red and puffy from all the crying. I hoped I’d go to sleep and wake up realizing this had been some horrible nightmare. When I opened my eyes this morning, reality had come crashing down on me, along with the crushing pain in my chest.
I brush my teeth before climbing into the shower. I don’t wait for the water to warm up, but I barely feel the ice-cold water on my skin, my whole body numb. When the water does warm up, I tilt my head back and let it run over my face, washing my tears away.
I spend far too long under the water, my mind full of Jack and all the time we spent together. It hurts to remember now, but I know it won’t always. I thought about what Savannah said yesterday. I thought about it all night, but I’m not going after him. I love him. I love him more than I ever thought possible, but despite what Savannah says, he doesn’t feel the same. There might have been an attraction there for him after the accident, but nothing more.
When I’m finally dressed, I contemplate going downstairs. Emma, Libby, and Claire had all come to my room last night, but I’d sent them away, not wanting to talk. I know they mean well, but I just wanted to be on my own. Knowing I can’t stay locked away forever, I head downstairs. I’m relieved when I find the house empty. I catch sight of the clock in the entryway, and it’s later than I thought, 11:30 a.m. I’d either woken up late, or spent far longer in the shower than I thought.
Descending the porch steps, I round the house and make for the stables. I’m hoping Colt or Taylor will have seen to the horses this morning, and when I enter, I breathe a sigh of relief that the horses have been taken care of. They all have clean stalls and fresh food. Not knowing what to do, I wander aimlessly from stall to stall, stroking each horse. This is my safe place, the place I love, and right now I don’t want to be anywhere else.
“I thought I might find you in here,” Libby says, and I turn around to see her walking toward me with Annie in the stroller.
“A creature of habit, I guess,” I say sadly, hugging her when she reaches me. I peek into Annie’s stroller to see her fast asleep. “She’s beautiful, Lib. Does she ever wake up? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her awake,” I ask, hoping to keep Libby from asking how I am.
She laughs. “Oh, yes. She’s usually awake all night and asleep all day. She’s a little upside down at the moment.”
“She’ll sort herself out. I guess it’s all new to her.”
“How are you, Aria?” Her eyes meet mine and I shrug.
“I’ll be okay. What choice do I have?”
“Have you tried calling him?”
I shake my head. “I wouldn’t know what to say.” I fiddle with the hem of my tank, my eyes dropping to my fingers. “Have you heard from him? Did he land safely?”
“I don’t know. He hasn’t called. I’ve tried to call him, but it goes straight to voicemail. Maybe he hasn’t had time to get a replacement phone yet.”
“Maybe,” I whisper. Or maybe he’s just with Zara, and he doesn’t have time to think about anyone else. I don’t voice the last part; I don’t want to upset Lib. I don’t blame him. He doesn’t remember what we shared. He remembers Zara.
“Shall we take a walk? You can push,” she says, gesturing to the stroller. I smile and nod.
We walk in silence for a few minutes before Libby puts her hand on my arm, forcing me to stop. “I spoke to Savannah. Have you thought about what she said? About going after him?”
“I’m not going, Lib. Even if I went and told him everything, he’s got to feel it and he doesn’t, so what would be the point?”
“How do you know he doesn’t?”
I gesture around us. “Do you see him here?”
“But—”