We walk in silence to Savannah’s house. I don’t have the energy to make small talk, and I know nothing they can say will make me feel better.
“Does Savannah know about Jack’s memory loss?” I ask as we climb the porch steps to the front door.
“No. I only managed to speak to Libby this morning. It was too late when we got home last night.” The door swings open before I can respond.
“Is Jack awake?” Savannah asks, worry etched on her face.
“Can Jacob hear us?” Emma asks from the side of me.
She frowns. “No, he’s in the backyard with Josh and Hope. What’s happened? Come in, come in.” She gestures to the entryway, stepping to the side so we can pass her. Closing the door behind us, she looks at me expectantly.
“Jack’s awake,” I tell her, her whole body seeming to sag with relief.
“Oh, thank God!” she exclaims. “And he’s going to be okay?”
“Yes. The doctor said he should make a fully recovery, but…” I pause and take a deep breath. “He woke up thinking it’s 2017 and that Zara was pregnant with Jacob.” I rush out the last part. I don’t know why, it’s not like saying it quickly makes it any less true. Her eyes widen before flicking between me, Emma, and Phil.
“Shit! Is it short term?”
“We hope so,” Emma says.
“You told him it’s 2020 though? And that he’s with you now?” she asks me.
I shake my head. “He knows what year it is, and that Jacob is almost three. He doesn’t know anything else. He thinks he’s still with Zara.”
“What? Why? Why wouldn’t you tell him?”
“The doctors have advised that we tell him as little as possible to give him the best chance of regaining his memory,” Emma explains. Coming to stand next to me, she takes my hand.
“That makes no sense.”
“He won’t know what are memories and what are things he’s just being told. I want him to remember all the milestones with Jacob. Telling him could confuse him even more and the memories never come back,” I say sadly.
“But what about you and him?”
I shake my head. “He has to remember,” I whisper.
“Ria!” I hear Jacob shout before I can respond. Looking past Savannah, I see Jacob running toward me.
“Hey!” I say, blinking away the tears that sting my eyes. “Have you had fun with Hope?” He nods as he slams into my legs, and I reach down to pick him up, placing him on my hip. I bite the inside of my cheek. If Jack doesn’t remember, I not only lose him, but Jacob too. My stomach churns at the realization.
“Are you heading to the hospital?” Savannah asks, her worried eyes fixed on me.
I nod and glance at Emma. “Jack wants to see Jacob.”
“Come back here when you’ve seen him and we can finish our conversation, okay?”
“Okay.”
* * *
An hourlater and I park the ranch truck in the parking lot of the hospital. To say I’m nervous is an understatement. When I woke up this morning, I wasn’t sure I was even going to come. The need to see Jack and to know he’s okay won over though, but now that I’m here, I’m wondering if I’ve made the right decision.
Climbing out of the truck, I stand and look at the imposing building, my hands wringing nervously in front of me.
“It’ll be okay,” Emma whispers in my ear. I don’t see how, but I don’t voice that, instead offering her a small smile. She links her arm with mine and gently tugs me toward the entrance. Phil follows with an excited Jacob.
We’re silent on the walk to Jack’s room, nervous butterflies taking flight in my stomach the closer we get. Just as Emma is about to open the door, I pull my arm from hers. “You go in, I just need a minute,” I say quietly.