“So what if I did?” I covered myself, conscious that I was sitting in front of him in only my underwear. “Josh, my feelings for you are my issue to deal with. I couldn’t expect you never to talk to girls when we were out, it was just easier for me not to be there.” He got off the bed and I watched him as he paced up and down my bedroom, his hand raking through his hair. “And now you’re with Beth, and I’m having a baby. We’ve movedon.”
“I told you last night that Beth wasn’t mygirlfriend.”
“That’s right, just your fuck buddy!” I exclaimed, watching him as he shook hishead.
“She’s not my fuck buddy either, notanymore.”
“What do you mean, notanymore?”
“I’m not seeing Beth anymore,” he saidquietly.
“Whynot?”
“It just wasn’t working out. We were on a date last night, but both of us spent the evening with other people. It shouldn’t be likethat.”
My head was pounding and my mind was working overtime. “I can’t keep doing this,” I watched as he abruptly stopped pacing and turned to faceme.
“Doing what?” he asked,confused.
“I can’t keep playing these games. As I’ve said before, I’m grateful that you were there for me today, and that you’re helping with the cottage, but I can’t deal with the touching or the tickling or you calling me beautiful.” I dropped my eyes down, focusing on the edge of the comforter, which I was gripping tightly in my good hand. “You made it clear a few months ago that you weren’t interested, and now you’re confusingme.”
“I’m sorry Sav.” He sat on the bed and put his head in hishands.
“It was me you were talking to last night, and now you’ve ended things with Beth—did you end things because of me? Have your feelings changed?” I whispered, nerves swirling in my stomach as I fidgeted. I heard him sighdeeply.
“Yes—no, I don’t know. It’s not as easy as that. You deserve more than I can giveyou.”
Hope flared inside me at his response. “What do you mean?” Iasked.
He shook his head. “Nothing. I’m messing everything up again, just forget I said anything.” He jumped up off the bed, his eyes looking everywhere but at me. “I’ll leave you to get dressed. Lib and Mason will wonder where you are.” He turned and headed for thedoor.
“Josh, wait,” I calledout.
“I’ll see you downstairs,” he said as he slipped out, closing the door behindhim.
I lay down on my back.What the hell was that all about?I was more confused than ever. What did he mean, he couldn’t give me what I deserved? I only wanted him. I sighed; I didn’t have time to worry about it right then when everyone was waiting on me. I got dressed and brushed my hair as best I could with one hand before making my waydownstairs.
I could hear voices coming from the sitting room, and as I entered, Libby jumped up off Mason’s lap and threw her arms around me. “Savannah, are you okay? Aunt Claire just told me what happened—thank God Josh found you when hedid.”
My eyes found Josh’s over her shoulder and he gave me a small smile before looking away. “I’m okay,” I told her, taking a step back and holding up my hand. “I’m just a bit sore, that’sall.”
“And the baby’s okay?” sheasked.
“The baby’s fine, and I got to hear the heartbeat again.” I glanced back over to Josh, remembering his reaction when he heard it. “I just have to take things easy for a bit.” My dad walked over and stood next to me, pulling me into hisside.
“And I realized what a selfish bastard I’ve been. Libby’s right—thank God Josh was there to help you. If he hadn’t found you and taken you to the hospital…” He trailed off and I felt him kiss the top of myhead.
“I’m fine Dad,” I reassuredhim.
“I’m so sorry for how I’ve treated you the past couple of weeks.” He looked sheepishly at me, and I felt tears welling in my eyes as I huggedhim.
“I love youDaddy.”
“I love you too sweet pea.” I smiled up at him. ‘Sweet pea’ was what he used to call me when I was little. “Right,” he said as he composed himself. “Let’s eat and see what Mason and Libby have to tellus.”
“Oooh yes!” I exclaimed. “Tell us then! Not pregnant too, are you Lib?” I joked. I heard Mason laugh as he pulled Libby into hisside.
“No, Libby’s not pregnant—not yet anyway,” he said, winking ather.