“What do you mean?” she asked,confused.
“I’ve…I’ve had a few one-night stands lately…” I trailed of. “I don’t know whose baby itis.”
“Didn’t you useprotection?”
“I’m on the pill, but I got sick a few times after going out. I neverthought…”
I heard her sigh deeply before taking hold of my hand. “What are you going to do?” sheasked.
I looked up at her, surprised. “Aren’t you going to tell me how stupid I am and how disappointed in me youare?”
She shook her head. “You don’t need to hear that from me. You’ve made a mistake, one you already know has huge consequences. Not only are you my cousin, you’re my best friend, and friends don’t judge. I just want to help you sort thisout.”
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “Thank you,” I said softly, tears running down my face again. “I can’t imagine facing this on myown.”
“Sav, I’m here for you, whatever you need.” She paused. “I’m not sure how your parents are going to take this though. This is so out of character for you. Why didn’t you tell me what’s been goingon?”
I could see the hurt in her eyes that I hadn’t confided in her, and I hated knowing I’d upset her. “I’m sorry Lib. You’ve been so happy with Mason, I didn’t want to burden you with my problems. As for my parents, I can’t tell them yet. Please don’t tell anyone.” I knew I was asking a lot by requesting she keep it from Mason, but I needed to get my own head around it before I could faceanyone.
“I won’t say anything, I promise. You should have come to me. Is this because ofJosh?”
I nodded. “It’s going to sound ridiculous, but seeing how happy you and Mason are, it just proves to me how unhappy I am. I’m so glad you and Mason are together, please don’t think I’m not,” I rushed out. “I guess I’m jealous that I can’t have what you guys have. I started going out more with some girls from school, and I met a few guys.” I dropped my head in my handsagain.
“I’m so sorry Sav. I’ve been so caught up with Mason, and I haven’t spent hardly any time with you. If I had, I would have noticed how unhappy youwere.”
“No Libby, this isn’t your fault. You should be caught up with Mason. It’s my stupid mistake and I’ve got to live with it.” I pulled her into a hug and we held each other tightly. “Mom and Dad are going to be sopissed.”
“Maybe at first, but they’ll come around. They love you and they’ll love your baby.” She paused and looked at her hands. “There are other options you know, if you didn’t want to keep the baby…adoption, or atermination.”
I waited for her to look at me. “I know Lib, and as upset and shocked as I am, I don’t think I could go through with a termination, or give the baby up. I’m keepingit.”
She nodded. “When are you going to tell your parents? You’re going to need yourmom.”
I sighed. “Not yet. I’ll get it confirmed with the doctor first. Would you come withme?”
“Of course I will. I can’t believe you’re going to have ababy.”
I couldn’t believe it either. I was dreading telling my parents, could already see the disappointment in their eyes when I told them. It would mean dropping out of college where I was studying for a degree in business management. I loved the ranch and had hoped to help out with the business side of it once I graduated. The plan had been that eventually Brody and I would take over the running of it, once it became too much for ourparents.
Now it seemed two of my dreams would be crushed under a mountain of dirty diapers andformula.
The morningafter Libby and Mason’s engagement, I woke up with my hand resting on my tiny bump. After Mason proposed at the lake, he’d brought her back to the ranch house where we were all waiting for them. I was sure if Mason had had his own way, he would have taken her straight to his bed, but he was aware of how much Libby missed her parents and how much she would want to tell us all about theengagement.
I’d loved hearing every detail of the proposal, but it had been a long night and I had struggled to keep my eyes open. Lately, I couldn’t seem to stay up past 8pm without fallingasleep.
It was still only Libby who knew about the pregnancy. I was slowly coming around to the idea that I was having a baby, but I wouldn’t say I was exactly excited about it. It still didn’t seem real. I had put off seeing a doctor until now, not wanting to face the truth. I had an appointment at the obstetrician later in the morning, and Libby was coming with me. I was planning on telling my parents that night, and my stomach rolled at the thought. I ran from my bed to the bathroom, throwing up yet again. I had been suffering from morning sickness—although I wasn’t sure why it was called morning sickness since it seemed to happen at any time during the day. Random smells would cause me to run for the nearest bathroom; I tried to avoid the smells I knew about, but each passing day there seemed to be something new that would set meoff.
Somehow, I’d managed to keep my sickness hidden from my parents. It helped that I had a bathroom off my bedroom, and I guessed I’d just been lucky that they weren’t around the other times. Picking myself up off the bathroom floor, I jumped in the shower, quickly washing my hair and body. Libby was due at 10, and it was already past9am.
30 minutes later I was downstairs, nibbling on a piece of toast while I waited for Lib. I couldn’t handle much to eat first thing, but I always felt worse if I didn’t eat at all. I heard the front door open and a second later, Libby walked into thekitchen.
“Hey Sav, how are you feeling?” she asked as she helped herself to a cup ofcoffee.
“Hey Lib, I’m good, nauseous, but that’s nothing new. What about you? How does it feel to wake up an engaged woman? Bet you didn’t get much sleep,” I teased, wriggling my eyebrows at her. I watched as her face flushed red and I laughed. “I’ll take that as a nothen.”
“No comment,” she replied with a smirk. Sipping on her coffee, she asked, “You ready for thismorning?”
“I’m nervous as hell. I know I’m pregnant, but other than the sickness and looking a bit fat, it’s hard to believe it’s really happening. I guess after today, it willbe.”