She nodded. “Since she was about 15, I’ve seen the way she looks at him, although she only talked to me about it recently.” She gave me a sadsmile.
“Is that why you stopped coming out with us?” heasked.
I nodded. “You know Josh, there was always a different girl hanging off him,” I said sadly. “I’d have to watch him all over some skank, but on the odd occasion a guy would ask me to dance, he’d go psycho on me and pull me off the dance floor. I couldn’t stand it in the end, and it was easier not to comeout.”
“I can’t believe I missed it—I didn’t have a clue!” Brody exclaimed. “And Josh has never saidanything.”
“Please don’t say anything to him,” I begged, watching as he nodded his head at me. “I didn’t want you to know. I thought I’d hidden my feelings well, but obviously not that well,” I said with a small smile as I looked over at mymom.
“Moms know everything,” she said, giving me a wink. “Come on, let’s head home. We can come back tomorrow after work and have another look at what needs to bedone.”
I nodded, linking arms with my mom, suddenly feeling exhausted after the emotional run-in with Josh. We made the short walk back to the ranch house in silence; I was lost in thought, replaying the conversation with Josh. Dad was home when we got back and I didn’t have the energy for any sort of confrontation with him, so I headed straight up to my room, leaving my mom to tell him about thecottage.
After a quick shower, I crawled into bed. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t seem to switch my mind off enough to fall asleep, and thoughts of Josh swirled in my head. I couldn’t be with him the way I wanted to, especially now, but my childhood memories were full of him. I couldn’t imagine him hating me; avoiding him for the past few months had been hardenough.
I rolled over, burying my face in my pillow. I was terrified that I had lost two of the most important people in my life because of one mistake. After my visit to the obstetrician and hearing my baby’s heartbeat, I wouldn’t change what was happening; I just wished the circumstances were different. I could only hope my dad and Josh would come around to the idea, and I prayed it would besoon.
The next morning,I stood in front of the cottage dressed in an old top and a pair of old jeans I could just about squeeze into. My stomach seemed to be growing with each passing day, and I was beginning to notice that my clothes were getting tight. The nausea had returned with a vengeance that morning and I’d been sick twice, unable to face eating any breakfast. I couldn’t let that stop me though—I needed to do what I could in the cottage so I could move in as soon as possible. Mom and Brody had already left for work and I didn’t have any classes, so it seemed as good a day as any to make astart.
I clutched a bucket full of cleaning products in one hand and a mop in the other. Setting them down on the floor, I pushed on the door to the cottage, hearing it squeak as it opened. I made a mental note to ask Brody to take a look at it then picked the bucket back up and walked inside. Looking around, I realized a squeaky front door was the least of myproblems.
The door opened straight into the empty sitting area, where there was a fireplace on one wall and a small window that looked out over the front garden. There was a large crack in the glass of the window, and it was so dirty that you couldn’t even see the small garden outside. There was a damp, musty smell throughout the whole cottage, and I guessed it was from it being closed up for so long, so I left the door open for the air tocirculate.
I walked through into the small kitchen. Other than cleaning, there wasn’t much I could do in there that day. The cupboards needed attention, and it was a task that was beyond me. I made my way up the staircase in the sitting room and looked around the two bedrooms. One was slightly bigger than the other, and they were perfect for me and the baby. Despite the state of the cottage, excitement bubbled in my stomach at the thought of making this place myown.
I hurried down the stairs, eager to get started. Grabbing the bucket, I emptied the contents out and went into the kitchen to get some water. Thankfully the water was still connected and I was able to fill the bucket, albeit with cold water. I mopped the wooden floor in the sitting room, having to change the water several times before the floor even resembled how it should look. With a rug down on the floor and a blazing fire in the fireplace, I could see how cozy the room would eventuallybe.
I was emptying out the dirty water in the kitchen when I heard a voice call out, “Savannah, are you here?” I dropped the bucket in the sink and groaned. After throwing up that morning and spending nearly an hour cleaning the sitting room floor, the last thing I wanted to do was have another run-in with Josh. I thought maybe if I stayed in the kitchen, he’d think I wasn’t there and would leave. “It’s me, Josh. Can we talk?” I heard footsteps approaching the kitchen door before it swung open and he walked in.So much for hiding.Sighing, I slowly turned around to facehim.
“Hi,” I said quietly, my eyes fixed on his feet. “What are you doinghere?”
“I came over to apologize. I shouldn’t have stormed off like I did yesterday. You just took me by surprise, that’s all. I’msorry.”
“That’s okay, you reacted better than my dad,” I said, fiddling with the cloth in myhands.
“What do you mean? Is that why you’re moving in here? Is your dad throwing you out?” he asked, a horrified look on hisface.
“He’s not throwing me out—he’d actually have to speak to me to do that.” I sighed. “He’s barely spoken to me since I told him last week, and things at home are…difficult. My parents are arguing, and my dad is always working late, trying to avoid me. I’m making their lives miserable, but it’s my decision to move out. The cottage is the best option I have.” I was mortified to feel a single tear slip down my cheek, and I desperately tried to brush it away before Josh saw, but I was too late. His eyes lowered to my cheek, and when he spotted the stray tear, he crossed the room in two strides, wrapping his arms aroundme.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered, stroking my hair. I felt my body sag against his and he tightened his hold on me. The stress of the past few weeks had finally caught up with me and before I knew it, I was crying into his t-shirt. “Everything will be okay, Ipromise.”
“I don’t think it will Josh. Nothing is ever going to be the same. My dad is so disappointed in me,” I said betweensobs.
“He’ll come around, he’s just getting used to theidea.”
That was what Brody and my mom had said, but I was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen. I pulled myself out of his arms, embarrassed that I’d cried all over him. “Sorry, I’ve got your t-shirt all wet.” I gestured to the wet mark on hischest.
He glanced down. “Don’t worry about it.” He paused. “Are you okay?” I nodded and gave him a small smile. “Should you be doing that…in your condition?” he asked, glancing at the bucket in thesink.
“I’m pregnant, not sick, and I’m only cleaning thefloors.”
He nodded before looking around the room. “This room could do with some work. I’ll just grab my stuff.” He turned and walked out of thekitchen.
“What stuff?” I asked, following him into the sittingroom.
Looking back over his shoulder, he grinned. “My tools. I’m helping you Savannah.” He disappeared outside before I could answerhim.
Josh spent the rest of the morning fixing the kitchen cupboards. It was a small kitchen so it didn’t take long. Once he’d tightened the loose doors, it looked a whole lot better. I followed him around cleaning each cupboard after he fixed it, and it soon became clear that with new handles and some fresh paint on the walls, the kitchen would look great. There was hardly any conversation between us, and it was starting to feel a bit awkward. We were constantly brushing up against each other because of the lack of space, and I was beginning to feel hot and bothered by how close we weregetting.