* * *
The sunlight streams through a gap in the drapes and wakes me. I sit up with a start as everything from last night comes flooding back.
“Shit! I must have fallen asleep,” I mutter as my eyes drop to the empty space in the bed next to me. My stomach rolls as I wonder where Lucas is. Did we really sleep together and he snuck out in the middle of the night? Why didn’t he wake me?
I climb out of bed and pick up the pink robe that Lucas wore last night. I slip it on and go into the hallway, noticing Roman’s empty bedroom. I make my way downstairs and find him in the living room, playing with his cars.
“Hey, Rome. Why didn’t you wake me?” I ask as I discreetly pick my bra up off the floor.
“You were sleeping, Mommy.”
I go to him and kneel down, pressing a kiss on his head.
“Do you want some breakfast?”
“Can we have pancakes?”
I smile. “Sure, baby.”
I try not to think what it means to have woken up alone. I know Lucas never intended to stay the night, but I would have thought he’d have woken me up to say goodbye. After everything he said last night, I find it hard to believe he snuck out on me. I pick up my phone from where I left it last night, hoping there might be a message from him, but my battery must have died and the phone’s dead.
I pad silently into the kitchen and get everything out to make pancakes. I’m just turning the stove on when there’s a knock on the door. Walking through the living room, I leave Roman playing and head to the entryway. I pull my robe tighter around me before opening the door.
“Morning, baby,” Lucas says, his hands full of to-go coffee and brown grocery bags.
“Where did you go?” I whisper, taking his arm and tugging him into the entryway. “I woke up and you weren’t there. I thought…” I trail off and look anywhere but at him.
“You thought what?” he asks, placing the coffee and bags onto the entryway table. He reaches for me and pulls me into his arms.
“I thought you might have regretted last night,” I say quietly.
“What? No.” His eyes search mine. “I woke up about an hour ago. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I didn’t think you’d want Roman to wake up and find me here, so I let myself out. I went for a quick shower and then got breakfast. I sent you a message.”
I wave of relief crashes over me, followed quickly by a wave of guilt that I doubted him. I drop my head on his chest. “My phone’s dead. I’m sorry.”
“No. I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have woken you. You looked so peaceful I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“I’m an idiot. Thank you for thinking about Roman.”
He lowers his head and kisses me. “You’re not an idiot.” He kisses me again. “You’re wearing my robe,” he teases, and I giggle as I remember him in it last night.
“Mommy, when can we have pancakes?” Roman shouts from the living room.
“Be right there, Rome,” I shout back, my eyes still fixed on Lucas.
I kiss him again before stepping out of his embrace and picking up the coffee and brown bags from the table.
“Look who’s here for breakfast,” I say as I walk into the living room with Lucas following.
“Lucas!” Roman shouts, standing from where he’s playing and running to Lucas. Lucas scoops him up and throws him in the air. “Again! Again!” he cries. Chuckling, Lucas throws him a few more times before lowering him to the ground. “Are you having pancakes too?” Roman asks.
“I brought some pastries from Pete’s. Do you want one?”
“Yes!”
I can’t help but stare at them. Despite only knowing Lucas for a short time, he seems to have fit seamlessly into our lives. When things ended with Dexter, I resigned myself to it just being the two of us, and I was okay with that. Meeting Lucas has made me hope for more. While things between us are only just beginning, I find myself thinking that maybe, just maybe, I can be happy again.