Diary #10
Dear Mom,
Have you ever felt so happy in one moment and broken in another? That’s how it feels right now, with Maddox gone. Our night together was everything I knew it would be, but I miss him even more now. The loneliness isn’t as consuming, though. Having friends has helped, and some of my clients I’ve gotten close to. It just sucks because I wish I could meet them in person.
It’s kind of my life though—I can’t have it all.
Every morning, I wake up and I promise myself I won’t check the message board. I think I need some space from Maddox to heal. Not that I blame him, I don’t. I understand and I know what he’s doing isn’t easy, but it still hurts.
The thing I’ve noticed, though, I’m not as weak as I once was. It hurts to miss him, but I’m not lost anymore, and I’m really starting to like the Darcie I’m becoming.
Love you,
Darcie
Eleven
MADDOX
Itossed back another shot, hoping the burn would take the feel of her around me away. I thought if I had one night with Darcie, then I’d be able to focus, concentrate on the task ahead of me, and fight to make it back to her.
Instead, I was a pussy-whipped boy, unable to get her out of his head.
A slap on my back jolted me, and I tensed, not knowing who it was. I peeked out of the corner of my eye and spotted my father. Everything in me wanted to pull away, gut him, and ride off into the sunset back to my girl.
But that wasn’t the plan. I was really starting to hate the plan.
Tank had been partially truthful to Darcie about the program. What he’d failed to mention was I’d been a part of the program from the very beginning, just not in any official capacity yet. It was my father who had sent me there to be a double agent in the first place, hoping to get one over Hank the Tank.
He hadn’t taken into consideration I’d fallen in love with a girl and had an agenda of my own. When Hank had asked me why I wanted to be part of MCD, I’d told him flat out, surprising him. The memory of the conversation had been playing in my mind the past few months as I reminded myself of my goal and responsibility.
“Why do you want to be part of the Mavericks, Son?”
I gritted my teeth, biting back the words. “My father sent me here to learn your secrets and to use them against you so he can take over your club someday. He doesn’t trust you and wants in on whatever foothold you seem to have gained.”
He watched me, a careful look on his face. “I’ll ask it again. Why do you want to be part of MCD?”
I relaxed, respecting the man I’d always watched from the shadows when we’d visit. “I want to become the best, so I can kill my father and take over his reign.”
“While I admire your ambition, what would make you a better leader? I don’t condone patricide.”
“My father is a murderer, thief, and a liar. He sold my mother off to another club when he was in debt. He doesn’t protect those in his club and demands blind loyalty. He’s a vile dictator who only wants power and control. He doesn’t care about anyone or anything. I’ve seen what you can do here, I know your club is different, and I want that type of place. I love to ride, and I know it’s a life I’ll lead, but I just don’t want to do it under him.”
“Why not join another club then? Why kill your father and take over?”
“Because it’s never that simple, is it?” I asked, keeping my gaze steady. Sucking in a breath, I took a chance and told Hank my secrets. “One, I’m in love with your daughter, have been ever since I knew what girls were.”
He chuckled, giving me a different look over now. “And two?”
“I have a special needs sister. She’s away at school now, but one day she’ll return, and when she does, I want it to be a safe place.”
Hank cupped his jaw regarding me. “If you pass the program, then I’ll read you into what’s really going on here. As for my daughter, you’ll have to win her heart on your own.”
“How was your trip? Did you make contact with a buyer?”
I nodded, taking the last shot and turning to deal with my father. Now that I was older, I was as big as him, possibly even bigger.
“He’s agreed to the arrangement and will be ready for you at the end of the month.”