William eyed her expectantly. “Addison? How’d you get here?”
“Carl.”
He frowned as a look Addie couldn’t quite discern crossed his face but disappeared quickly. “I see. What are you doing here?”
“It’s not his fault, William. I forced him to bring me here. I needed to see you. I had a bad dream.”
“You’re here because of a bad dream?” he asked, an almost smile creeping up.
Addie walked to him and leaned on the edge of his desk, positioning herself directly across from him. William flinched a little and then settled. She could tell that he felt uncomfortable having her so close. She forced herself to meet his gaze straight on “Yes. I mean, no. Well, you see the thing is I’ve had what felt like a recurring dream for the past several days where you told me it was over between us. The problem is I think you’re lying to me, and I came here to find out why.”
William’s jaw tightened. “Damn it, Addison. You shouldn’t be here.”
She reached for him, but he backed away. “Tell me why you’re doing this, William. It’s killing me, and whether you’re willing to admit it or not, I can see that it’s killing you too.”
William stood and closed the door before going to Addie and lifting her a little, forcing her to sit on the desk with him between her legs. He took her face in his hands and stared but didn’t speak.
“I’m right, aren’t I? It’s all a lie. I just want to know why. I have the right to know, William. WHY are you lying to me?” Addie finally asked.
He kissed her hard, catching Addie off guard. She pulled back and studied his face.
“Because I love you, okay? I love you like I’ve never loved anyone else. The truth is I’ve never really cared all that much about anyone or anything else, nothing . . . except all of this.” He gestured around the room before continuing. “My whole adult life I’ve been addicted to this . . . this lifestyle . . . success if you want to call it that. But you know what, Addison? None of it has ever loved me back, until I met you, that is. For the first time in my life, I’ve wanted something enough to risk everything for it. And quite frankly, that scares the shit out of me. But now that I’ve found it—now that I’ve found you—I can’t keep you safe. Everything that has happened to you has been because of me. Because of this. I can
’t live without you, Addison. Hell, I can barely breathe without you, but I need to keep you safe. And if staying away from me accomplishes that, then it just has to be that way. It just does because I can’t allow anything to happen to you. I can’t explain what it is that you do to me; I just know I need more of it. Being with you makes me feel alive. I’m drawn to you, and I know that what we have isn’t what you and Patrick have had or anywhere near that level, but damn it, I want that and so much more with you, Addison. And . . . it kills me to want that, because I know you can’t give it to me. You’re too good for me because you’re not like me. You see, Addison, I take from people. I want something, and I just take it without even a second thought as to the consequences. But you . . . You aren’t like me. You’re incapable of hurting people.”
“Stop.” Addie interrupted. “You’re wrong. You’re so fucking wrong. I am capable of hurting people. I’ve hurt so many people, William—my husband, my family, and you—but I love you, and I don’t know what else to do about it. The truth of the matter is I probably could live the rest of my life without you. I just don’t want to.”
William placed his head in Addie’s lap, running face along her thighs, his stubble tickling her tender flesh. “God, you smell so good.”
“I missed you.” She sighed.
William stood and helped her out of her jacket. “I need to keep you safe, Addison. We can’t keep doing this.”
Addie watched as William pulled her T-shirt over her head and then in one fell swoop shoved everything off the desk. He took his time with her, covering every inch of her with his mouth. He brought her to the brink with his mouth, again and again, until she begged him to stop. Then he fucked her hard, right there on the desk, with enough passion to convince her it possibly could be the last time.
Thankfully, though it wasn’t. Later they moved to the bedroom and made love again before falling asleep wrapped up in one another. Addie woke just before noon and found the bed empty. She sat up, picked up the robe that was lying next to her, and inhaled, smelling William’s scent. She pulled it on and went to find him, once again finding him at his desk.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” He smiled, without looking up from his monitor.
“Hey.” Addie murmured as she stood at the window, looking out at the greyness of the day.
“What time do you need to be back? I have somewhere I’d like to take you.”
“I probably outta head out by 3:00 p.m. I’d like to see the boys before their bedtime.”
William nodded. “Come here.”
Addie turned around but didn’t move. “When are you going to tell me what’s going on? One minute you want me, and the next you don’t.”
William stood up and closed in on her. “I always want you, Addison. Wanting and having, though, are two very different things.”
She sighed, exasperated.
“I need you.” He whispered, as he unfastened the robe and watched it fall to the floor.
Addie removed his hands from her breasts and took a few steps back. “Yeah, well, needing and having are two very different things too, you know.”
William grinned. “Oh, really,” he whispered, closing the gap, grabbing her with one arm by her waist, pulling her in. “We’ll see about that.” He laughed, wrestling her to the floor.