“I don’t know,” William whispered.
Addie stepped back and paused. “I think you do know.”
William sighed. “Sometimes I just need it. It’s like a release. It keeps me in control when things get out of hand.”
She stepped forward and touched his swollen face. “Do you think you deserve this, William? Do you think I deserve seeing you like this?”
“No. I don’t know,” William replied as he stared at the floor.
Addie tilted his chin so that his eyes met hers. “If we’re going to do this, I need to know that I’m enough.”
William looked her up and down and grinned. “Baby, you’re more than enough.”
“Ouch.” William called out after Addie slapped the crop across his chest.
“I’m serious. Damn it.” Addie slapped him, again.
“Okay. Okay. What is it you’re asking for?” William laughed.
“I’m asking you to trust me to give you what you need.”
William chuckled. “I do.”
Addie slapped him again, hard this time. She bent over and whispered in his ear, “Is this a joke to you, Mr. Hartman? Because I’ll leave and come back when you’re able to take shit seriously. Don’t worry. I’ve got all night.”
William inhaled her scent. This was the worst kind of torture. He couldn’t take anymore. He wanted her so bad. “I trust you, Addison. Damn it. I trust you.”
Addie straddled his lap and slowly kissed his chest. “So then you’ll stop seeing Sondra, because I need a man, William. I need a man who will give me what I need and who’ll allow me to give him what it is he needs. And I think we both know what that is.”
“Yes! I’ll stop. Please, Addison.” William begged. “Mercy. Okay, mercy. There I said it. There’s my safe word. There it is.”
Addie walked around, untied his hands, and slowly undressed. “Make love to me.”
William was rougher than she’d expected. He pushed her against the wall, shoved himself between her thighs, and pushed into her hard. As soon as Addie climaxed, William grabbed her hips and pushed into her harder and harder as though he couldn’t get enough, until he finally found his release. Out of breath, he kissed her face over and over before stopping to search her eyes. “Mercy. Huh. I’ve never used my safe word before, you know, but I have to say it felt pretty good on my lips.”
Addie picked the boys up from Jess’s Saturday morning and took them to their favorite Austin ice-cream shop, the one with the shady playground outside, and let them each pick their own flavor.
She watched them carefully, eavesdropping upon their innocence as they ran around playing with ice cream dripping down their faces, and wished that she could freeze that moment in time. She wished that things would always be this sweet and innocent for them, that she wasn’t about to change life as they knew it.
In the past few weeks, she’d poured over books on how to help your children through divorce. In fact, that was what she’d been reading as Patrick packed. Admittedly, a small part of her wanted him to notice, wanted him to beg her to stay, to fight. When he didn’t, it only solidified in her mind that this is how it would always be. But the latest handbook on the care of children during divorce didn’t help her much. It seemed there was just no right way to go about it.
Addie intended to feel the situation out that afternoon and finally decided to tell them in the car on the way home. At first, she thought she’d gather them together in the living room on the couch and tell them, just as she’d always seen done in the movies. In the end, though, she changed her mind, hoping that she could make it more of a casual conversation than a monumental one. But as they piled in the car, sweaty and sticky, she almost lost her nerve until Connor spoke up. “Is Dad going back to China?”
Addie eyed him in the rearview mirror. He always had been a very perceptive child. She gathered perhaps that was why he screamed so much as an infant, that maybe he was simply more sensitive than the rest of us. “I don’t know, sweetie, but there is something I wanted to talk to you and your brothers about.”
Conner sighed. “I already know. You guys are getting a divorce.”
“What’s a divorce?” The twins shouted in unison.
Addie cleared her throat and kept her eyes on the road. “Who told you that, Connor?”
Connor slapped his little brother on the arm. “A divorce is when your parents don’t talk to each other anymore and then you get two houses. That’s what happened to Lucas’s parents, and now he has two bedrooms. He likes it because he says he gets more Christmas presents than he used to get.”
“Connor, I asked you a question. Who told you Daddy and I were getting a divorce?” Addie probed.
“Seriously, Mom, I’ve seen your book. I can read, you know.”
“Oh.” Addie bit her lip and glanced in the rearview mirror. “Well, I want to talk to you guys about that. Daddy and I love you all very much, but we decided it’s best if we don’t live together anymore.”