“You were going to say happening, but seeing as you stopped, I guess that would be lying.”
“I can so lie.”
“Badly. We all know the truth about the horror movies,” Millie said.
Alex smiled. It was a long-running joke between her and her father, so that couldn’t be an awful lie, not if her dad was aware of it.
“I don’t know what is happening. We’re not arguing or fighting, so I guess that’s good.”
“There’s this smile and a twinkle in your eye, Alex. Does that mean…” Millie’s gaze roamed down her body, and Alex rolled her eyes.
Since Antonio had pointed it out, she realized she did it a lot. “No, it doesn’t mean that. Roman’s different here. For one, he’s not a complete and total asshole. He’s nice, and we’re getting along.”
“But?”
“No buts, I don’t think. We’re in a good place.”
“It took your life being in danger for you to find a good place.”
Alex laughed. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“You know, I trust your instincts, but when it comes to Roman, you have always been a little hesitant with him. Why?”
“He’s a stranger to me, Millie.”
“I know he is, but do you have no feelings for him at all? He is the first guy I’ve ever seen you openly dislike. You don’t give him a chance at first. Why?”
Alex glanced out into the yard. The kids were lying on the grass, soaking up the sun. Roman had brought them all beach towels and sunglasses. They couldn’t make the trip to the beach, but he could help bring the beach to them, which also included a sand pit.
She didn’t know how he’d gotten to do that in the past couple of hours, but he had. The kids loved him.
“I didn’t know him, and every time I tried to get to know him, he’d be mean, and he didn’t have time for me.”
“For fuck sake, Alex, leave me the fuck alone.”
“That doesn’t look right. You look like a fucking Victorian maid.”
“Do I look interested?”
Alex thought over the two months they were married. It wasn’t easy. Roman never had a nice thing to say to her. She knew deep down that he didn’t want to be married to her.
“I knew he had other women. I overheard them at the wedding, and when he had no patience with me, and I was getting things wrong, I guess I just decided that I wasn’t going to allow myself to fall for a man who wasn’t ever going to be mine.”
“Honey.”
“Mom and Dad had something, Millie. I know I wasn’t old enough to see it, but the photos he has of her. I know he’s taken lovers, but none of them mean anything to him. He’s never had another girlfriend. Never been happy like he was in all the pictures with Mom. I grew up seeing them, and that’s what I wanted. Is that wrong?”
“No, baby, not wrong. I just wished your dad knew what he was doing. At least Roman is seeing things differently now.”
Alex looked toward the window and shrugged.
“You’re having your doubts?”
“I don’t trust as easily as I think I should.” When it came to Roman, she wanted to trust this side of him, but she had caught the way he’d been looking at her. It was subtle, but it was like he was trying to work her out. She had to wonder why. Between offering to adopt the kids and talking about a future with them, not to mention how his friends seemed to be intent on forcing them together, something didn’t sit right with Alex.
Was Roman forcing her to have feelings for him?
She had started to have feelings for him, and that was what scared her. He was breaking through her defenses so easily.