“We don’t need it,” Heidi countered. “We haven’t needed it for ages.”
“I know, but I know how you like to have an extra cushion, and I thought we could maybe buy the stuff for the flooring you wanted to put in the kitchen if I was able to work enough hours.”
Heidi sighed. “At the cost of what, though?”
She shouldn’t have said it. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted it. Ann was only trying to do something nice for them, for her, and she had to go and shut it down like it was an awful idea. The shadow that flashed over Ann’s face confirmed the fact that she should have held her tongue. There was no way to backtrack, however.
“I’m sorry,” Heidi muttered. Ann’s hurt sliced through her. She didn’t even have to say anything. “Maybe we can do dinner on Monday.”
“Yeah,” Ann mumbled.
Heidi reached across the table for Ann’s hand, twining their fingers briefly before pulling her hand away. She knew how much Ann hated public displays while she was at work, and she didn’t want to push it too much. They tried to keep their relationship as low-key as possible so as not to offend anyone or run into the wrong people at the wrong time. Ann had mentioned once how she was afraid she’d lose her job if they ever found out.
“I’m glad I was able to at least make it for lunch with you today,” Heidi commented.
“Yeah, it was a good surprise.” That at least earned her a smile, though the happy mood had switched to melancholy. “We should do this more often.”
“I try.”
“I know you do.” Ann took the last bite of her sandwich and cleaned up after herself.
Heidi put the second half of her lunch back in the container. She’d bring it home and eat it for dinner since Ann would likely still be at work. She walked Ann to the elevator, said goodbye, and left without any more preamble. It had been that quiet kind of love for so long, and sometimes Heidi wondered if it was even still love or if it was more obligation or routine.
She was in her car driving to the small brick building close to the center of town in a matter of minutes. The county was going to make them move offices soon since the rent on the current building was too high and they needed more space. So as soon as she stepped inside, everything was a sea of boxes and prep for the move.
Her office was anything but quiet. It was almost three in the afternoon, and her late lunch had put her back there at a difficult time. The room next to her office was filled with a family—at least three kids and three adults—who were playing and having a supervised visitation. Normally she loved listening to the chatter and excitement of kids seeing their parents for the first time in who knew how long, but that afternoon, all she could think about was the pain she’d caused Ann and the confidence of one young Lila.
What was it about Lila that she kept coming back to?Pulling out some paperwork she’d left for herself to do that afternoon, Heidi froze. It was Lila’s confidence. That was something Heidi had never had but always wanted. It was the same with Ann. She had so much confidence in her work, in who she was, and Heidi never measured up to that. They were complete opposites in that way. Lila was the same. She held control where Heidi knew she’d lose it.
The phone on her desk rang loudly, jarring her from her thoughts. “Child Protective Services, this is Heidi.”
“Heidi,” the sweet voice on the other line sighed, and immediately Heidi knew who she was talking to. Jana Everly—a foster mom she’d brought a four-year-old girl to three months ago. “I’m just calling to let you know that we’re taking Naveah to the hospital.”
“What happened?”
Jana sighed heavily again. “Her daycare was doing sensory games involving beans, and Naveah thought she’d have a good old time putting the beans in her ears.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not. We managed to get two out, but I know there are more in there. She says it hurts and she can’t hear.”
“Jana…”
“I know. Four-year-olds.”
“Well, take her in, let me know what they say. You’ve got my cell number, right?”
“I do.”
“Call me even if it’s after five.” Heidi pulled up Naveah’s file on her computer to input the call record.
“I will. Thanks.”
“No problem.” She recorded the call and what was going to happen before she concentrated on her other paperwork for the day. She had a potential reunification the next day that she wanted to prepare for. She wasn’t entirely sure bio-mom was ready to have her three kids back with her, and she was going to need quite a bit of support.
Two hours later, her back ached from being hunched over her desk working. She’d answered calls here and there but had mainly worked on the case she was going to deal with the next day. Jana had called to report in. Five beans in one ear, three in the other. They suspected Naveah had a couple more lodged deep but needed a specialist’s opinion on it because they were so far down the girl’s ear canal.
When she finally finished for the day, she grabbed her things and headed for her car. She would slip in a visit to Naveah’s foster home in the upcoming week, sometime in her busy schedule. She wasn’t quite sure when, but it needed to happen, and she wanted to be the one to do it. When she got to her car, she checked her phone, finding a simple apology from Ann in a text.