“What changed and made you friends again?” he asked.
“Book club. We get along when we’re in a group. But alone, we have guilt issues.”
“Guilt about what?” He needed to know because Natalie needed his help—not because it was about Hazel.
“The accident,” Natalie whispered.
“Guilt about what? She wasn’t the one in the car.” He knew all the others in the car except for Natalie had died. Patrick had said as much just a few hours before.
“I think she wishes she had been.” Tears started to run down her cheeks, so he handed her some tissue.
“That makes sense with that she said when I stopped her from driving that night. Do you think she would do anything about it?” Ruston wanted to run out of the room, the building, and hunt the woman down. Hold her in his arms until he knew she was safe.
“I don’t know. She has John Henry, and only her grandparents are left to take care of him. I know she would never let them raise another child. They already raised her and her siblings.” Natalie wiped her eyes.
Who were they? He had never seen anyone with them at church. Not even on holidays.
“I will try and talk to her after the wedding. I’ve been trying for a week now and have been unsuccessful, but I will work harder on it. If I have no luck, I might have to have you help when you get back from your honeymoon.” Ruston tried to lighten the mood. He couldn’t tell if he had been successful or not when she walked out the door.
Getting up and walking around to his desk chair, he sunk down. What was happening to the short blonde who was always on his mind? Would she come to the wedding or blow that off too?
A shiver of fear ran down his spine when he remembered her face coming toward him Sunday night. He had been out for a walk and noticed her little yellow car parked on Main Street and, deciding it was time to talk, leaned against the car to wait. Having waited for over an hour, he was about to give up when she slammed out of the door. Rushing toward her car, he knew she didn’t see him, that she didn’t see anything.
He grabbed her around the waist. He had no idea what was happening with her, just that he was not letting her go. When she had said she would be better off dead, the hair on the back of his neck stood up. He had heard suicide threats before, but this was the first one that felt completely real. And it scared him to death.
When the five women poured out of the building, he knew he couldn’t let her go, and they didn’t push him to. Her sobs were tearing his heart out right there on Main Street. What had happened to her that her body could shake with sobs until she struggled to breathe?
Mandy had been prepared with a paper bag.
Ruth had muttered something about panic attacks, the same type she had almost suffered from in the restaurant. It seemed people in this town were aware of her attacks, and nobody seemed to care enough to try and get them to stop. Just let them happen to the poor woman.
Mia had taken charge and taken Hazel to her place before Ruston could come up with a reason to take her home with him. All he wanted was to hold her in his arms until she was happy again. Until she knew someone cared about her. Until she knew he cared about her.
Pulling out his phone from his pocket, he wanted to text her to see if she was okay, but he didn’t know her number. Or even if she had a phone.
Putting his phone down, he got up to see if everyone was gone. Walking through the empty church, he stopped at a framed picture of confirmation classes hanging on the wall. He found the picture he wanted and pulled the small class of seven off the wall, looking closely at the girl in the back row with long brown hair. She had a cocky smile and a name he recognized, but a face he had never seen before. Her nose and chin were different. Her eyes were the green he recognized, but her smile was different than the one she had given her father over supper. Extensive surgery, Patrick had said, and it seemed it was.
Scanning the picture for other familiar faces, he found one he was not expecting, but then again, he was. He knew Natalie and Hazel were the same age. Finding her standing next to Natalie, she had long blonde hair back then, swept back into a clip on her head. Her hazel eyes had a mischievousness about them. That was gone now. Smiling, his eyes slid to see her name in block letters right after Natalie’s, and his heart stopped. It said Hanna May, not Hazel. Quickly, he scanned the rest of the names, passing over faces he didn’t recognize. At the end, in the front row, he found Hazel May printed in block letters. His eyes lifted to a carbon copy of the first girl he had thought was Hazel. Eyes darting from one to the other and back again, he whispered, “Twins.”
“Identical,” a voice said behind him, making him jump. Mia was leaning against the wall. “Hanna and Hazel were identical. Henry is in there too. He made the three.”
His eyes scanned the picture and found the tall young man in the back row, right behind Hazel. “Where are they?”
“Dead. They always call it Natalie’s accident. But really it should be called the May’s accident. She lost both of them that day. The three became one in an instant. She changed that day. The Hazel who sang her heart out in the choir and just for fun was gone. I haven’t heard her sing since that day. Nobody has.” Mia looked at the picture in his hand.
“I didn’t know,” he told her, still looking at the picture.
“If you really like her, you should know. She’s had a lot of pain in her lifetime, and most of it she hasn’t let go of yet. If you really want her, you will have to work for her.” Mia was still leaning against the wall.
“Who said I like her?” Ruston questioned.
Smirking, she shrugged. “She likes you too, but you’ll have to help her over the pain before you can have a future together.”
“I don’t know if I want a future with her, Mia,” Ruston admitted.
“You wouldn’t have had sex with her if you hadn’t thought there was a future, Pastor Ruston. Don’t lie to yourself about that.” Mia pushed herself from the wall.
“My friend said that I was already in love with her.”