Perhaps he was a far weaker man than he had ever thought. But he was clinging to his vow. Clinging to resolve. Clinging to the fact that he pleasured her every morning with his mouth between her legs. And when he could no longer bear it and thrust his body into her welcoming heat on those rare occasions when he needed her beyond reason…he clung to the knowledge he cast his seed aside and not where it might grow into an heir.
Damnation. He couldn’t shake it.
She was in his thoughts morning, noon, night. Not an hour went by that he didn’t spend thinking of her, longing for her, wondering how the devil it had all transpired.
Abruptly, she lifted her gaze to his, and her face tensed. “I must tell you something.”
His stomach tensed with dread. Those words could never be good. And a myriad of thoughts went through his head. What could be amiss? He drew in a sharp breath and shoved all potential calamity aside. “Tell me?”
Victoria set her newspapers down and squared her shoulders. “My father tricked you.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I saw him before he left, and he said he rigged the dice…so that you would have to marry me.”
He gaped at her, stunned. “Bloody hell, he’s more duplicitous than I thought.”
“I’m not certain he’d have forced me to marry Craven,” she whispered. “He manipulated you.”
He suddenly sensed that much was in the balance. His happiness, her happiness, rested in his reply. “He manipulated both of us,” he said carefully. “And I cannot be angry over it. It is done. And I’m glad you’re my wife, Victoria. Make no mistake. Do you regret that you had to marry me?”
He couldn’t breathe. Bloody hell. He couldn’t draw breath as the silence stretched a little longer than he could bear.
“How could I be?” she said. “You have opened doors that have been sealed shut my whole life. You have made my dreams possible. Only a fool would regret that.”
Suddenly his heart lifted.
“Then we needn’t worry over your father’s machinations again. After all, the future is the only thing we have control of.”
She beamed at him, clearly relieved, and without another word, she nodded and turned back to her paper. Clearly happy that their accord had not been destroyed.
How he admired her courage and honesty.
He might not ever be able to let go of the vow he made. That would be with him until he died. But at least he could enjoy this. Her. He could enjoy the friendship they had, the care they could show each other, the pleasure that could be allowed in their circumstance.
And no one could take that away.