But she did wish this was different. That it wasn’t like this.
“Peter,” she began, locking his gaze with her own, determined to make him understand her. “I cannot do this to you. I can go away. I’m certain that someone, maybe some family member in Scotland, can take me in.”
A strange look hardened his beautiful face. “You are not to be chased off,” Peter stated. “I did not take you for a coward, Ophelia. You’re not running away, are you?”
She stiffened at that, shocked by his words. “Of course, I’m not a coward. How dare you say such a thing?”
He took a step towards her. “Well, you’re suggesting you’re going to go into hiding?”
She drew in a shuddering breath. “I cannot face the idea of entrapping you.”
“You didn’t entrap me,” he insisted. “As you well know. I can see it on your face.”
Edmund looked as if he was going to suffer apoplexy.
A quite out of place laugh rippled past her lips. She had to laugh. If she did not, she’d cry.
“Edmund,” she said. “Peter did nothing nefarious. It was completely unexpected. Neither of us came out into the garden wishing to seduce the other. It was most peculiar the way all of this occurred. Neither of us thought such a thing could happen. We have barely been friends or acquaintances. And Peter has never thought of me as a woman.”
Peter groaned and looked away.
Edmund sighed. “Bloody hell, it’s true. Isn’t it?”
Peter nodded. “I’ve only ever thought of her as your sister until this evening. And I don’t know how she suddenly transformed. Please understand Edmund. I had to kiss her. I’ve never felt so...at home as I have with your sister.”
“I don’t want to hear this,” Edmund ground out.
“Well, you’re bloody going to,” she said, her heart beating wildly at Peter’s admission. She turned towards the man of her dreams. “Peter, I thought of you as a very beautiful gentleman for a long time. But I’ve always known you were a rake. And I’m quite concerned that if I marry you, we shall be very unhappy.”
“It’s possible,” Peter agreed.
“So we shouldn’t do it,” she said firmly.
“You must,” Edmund pointed out, the hard voice of reason. “You two kissed and were caught. And that’s an end of it.”
She threw up her hands, wishing she could rail at the rules of society.
“Kissed and caught, and married or ruined?” Peter said gently. “I won’t let that happen to you. Or your family.”
She lifted her chin. “Nor will I let it happen, if I’m honest.” A bitter smile curved her lips as the severity of the consequences crushed down on her. “Even for all my grand protestations, I do not think I can bear it if my family is destroyed by my foolishness.”
She swallowed. “So you and I shall be headed to the church. If you’ll have me.”
“Have you?” Peter echoed. His dark eyes filled with shadows. “I’m lucky to have you. But I can’t offer you happiness, Ophelia. I’ve never learned how to give it.”
She nodded, understanding, even as her heart sank. “I didn’t think I’d be happy in marriage, Peter. I always knew I’d have to do as well as I could.”
Edmund looked away, his shoulders sinking as if defeated, even as his sister found herself engaged to an earl.
Peter’s eyes flashed with anger. “Don’t say such things, Ophelia.”
“Why not say true things?” she queried. “We shall muddle along, you and I. No doubt we shall be a typical ton marriage. You shall go and do whatever it is that you please. And I shall find my library and be quite content in it, I promise you.”
“Then I shall have to find you a very good library indeed,” Peter promised.
His words should have lifted her heart.
They didn’t. Instead, her heart ached, for he had not protested at the idea of a typical ton marriage or the fact that they would be most unhappy indeed.