He hesitated. “I never meant to make you feel unworthy,” he said.
She gave a tight nod of her head. “Don’t worry, I’m used to it.”
Those words pierced his heart with more power than any arrow could have ever done.
He did not want her to beused to it. He never wanted her to be used to it, and he would make certain she was never made to be used to it again.
Chapter Twelve
Vauxhall was a wonderland for those who allowed themselves to enjoy it.
James had always admired the pleasure gardens. It was a place where nobles could go to behave in ways they could not in the ballrooms of West London. Here, the wealthy went to show off their plumage, but it was also a place where they could play.
And, perhaps because of the darkness of his past, he did like to play.
All his life, he had done his duty to his country.
It was the most important thing to him, after all, to fulfill the role of his dukedom. So much of it had been abandoned when his father’s health had deteriorated so rapidly and his emotional state had declined so entirely.
When James had become duke, he had worked himself into exhaustion, righting all that had been lost.
And he had quickly learned that if he did not enjoy himself and revel in the power of his title, he wouldn’t be able to keep up the necessary amount of work.
Here there were paths that led off into the dark.
Here there were dances that were in the open air and revels to be had and marvelous entertainments.
And Jack? She wondered at it all.
The pleasure on her face was inescapable.
It made him wish to see what else might turn her cheeks pink and widen her eyes with amazement.
He could not deny that watching her was giving him more pleasure than he had ever had here before.
The colors, and the noise, and the music, and the chatter seemed to delight her.
He could not blame her.
And her joy…was giving him joy, too.
Olivia seemed pleased, but there was an apprehension to her, as if she felt the need to prove herself worthy of their company.
How he wished people did not have to suffer the fears of society. If he had his way, people would confess their likes and dislikes easily.
Miss Fairweather and Blackbrook clearly liked each other. And it was only nonsense and rules that were forcing them to behave at a distance.
Long ago, he’d learned from his mother and his father that people never behaved the way they truly wished to.
Often, they actually behaved the opposite of how they wished.
His mission this evening was to bring the two together, despite their clear silliness.
As they approached the pavilion lined with blazing torches and framed with an orchestra, Jack glanced up at him and whispered, “I should dearly like to dance. Would you ask me?”
He let out a low laugh. “You are the most astounding person, Jack. Of course. May I have this dance?”
“Yes, you may,” she said brightly, and placed her fingers in his. “Will you please escort me onto the floor?”