“She asked me to hurt her. To cut her.” My throat tightens at the memory of her blood on that knife. There are other ways to hurt her, to bring both pleasure and pain, ways that don’t involve, drawing her blood.
“Did you?” Wes lifts a questioning brow.
“I did.”
“Seriously, Declan!” Trey growls, slamming his laptop closed.
“I had to do it. I had to find out if I really needed her blood or if I was just enthralled at the idea of getting my revenge on her. As soon as I saw her blood on the knife, I put it down. It didn’t give me the feeling I thought it would.” I shake my head. “I don’t know what the fuck happened, but it’s not her that I want to hurt anymore.”
Wes grins. “This is good, brothers.”
I push from the couch and go into the kitchen for a beer. I grab Wes and Trey one as well and hand them each a bottle once I enter the living room again.
“So we all agree, we’re keeping her?” Trey questions before taking a pull from the beer, his dark gaze flickering over mine as if I have the final say.
“Yes. We’re keeping her. We’re killing her father, and then we are keeping her. I think…after we get our revenge, after we end this, maybe…maybe we can find peace with her.”
“Peace?” Wes’s voice rings in my ears.
I haven’t felt that emotion since before we lost our family. Is it even possible to feel at peace again? I don’t know, but right now all I know is that I care about Jessa and I want her with us.
I shrug, “Maybe eventually, but right now, no. We need to figure this shit out. Then we can focus on our own personal stuff. Let’s convince Jessa to stay, show her what we need to show her, and then see what happens.”
“Thank fuck you jumped on board,” Trey chuckles.
“And why is that?”
“Because I was seriously considering beating the fuck out of you.”
“You could try little brother, but all you would’ve gotten is your ass handed to you.” I grin, feeling more relaxed. I’m finally back on the same page with my brothers, and the little temptress down the hall is making me feel it all for the first time in years. I’m getting back to being my old self… slowly but surely.
Chapter Nineteen
Jessa
I open my eyes and yet again, find myself in a room I haven’t woken up in before. Declan’s room is very much him. His sheets are black, the walls are painted a stormy sky grey, and the bed and dresser are made of wrought iron.
The mattress is soft beneath my body, almost like a pillow, and the blanket thrown across me feels as if it’s full of down feathers. Yawning, I sit up and look around the room. I’m alone.
Where did he go?
He was here when I fell asleep. I felt his body pressing up against mine, his warmth seeping into my bones. My heart beats faster just thinking about it. I’ve never felt so content, so wanted, so cherished, as I did when Declan held me in his arms last night. It was a big step for him and something he didn’t have to do, but chose to.
Sitting up, I reflect on everything that happened last night. The knife, the blood. The way he owned my body, my soul. I think about what it meant. I already know what it meant for me. My feelings haven’t changed. After last night, they’ve only solidified.
I was already prepared to stay with them. I wanted nothing more than to be theirs in every way. The question now is, how does Declan feel about this? Has he finally agreed with his brothers, or was last night a one-time thing? The thought of losing them, it hurts, like a branding iron pressing against my heart. If Declan rejects me after what we shared… I don’t know if I’ll come back from that.
A memory from last night tugs at me. I was nearly asleep when he said the words, but I’m positive he meant them. “As it turns out, I think I want to keep you around after all.” I smile to myself as I crawl out of bed. It’s unlike the brothers to give me free rein as they’re doing right now. I haven’t so much as done one thing by myself on this level. So their trust in me must be significant, which is surprising after my actions yesterday. Though I suppose saving Declan’s life saved my ass.
Padding into the bathroom I turn the light on. My bladder is currently screaming at me. My eyes catch on my reflection in the mirror. The small red gash on my stomach sticks out like a sore thumb against my ivory skin. I almost wish it was a permanent gash, something I could look at often to remind me that all of this is real, that Declan doesn’t want to kill me anymore.