I want her to be ours, and not just in the sense of us saying she belongs to us.
I want her to actually want to be here, instead of being a hostage.
I want to trust her. I want to ravage her. I-just-fucking-want-her.
Chapter Seventeen
Jessa
Guilt is eating me alive. I never should’ve stalled back in that alley. I never should’ve questioned myself. Stupid. So stupid. Every grunt of pain that slips from Declan’s mouth cuts through me like a dull knife. It’s my fault that he got hurt and looking at Wes and Trey’s faces, they know it too. I hate to admit it, but the taste of freedom was too great, and as it turned out I learned my lesson. I saw firsthand what the brothers had told me. My father really did want me dead, and second-guessing myself had almost got Declan killed.
“Now what the fuck happened?” Wes’s cold eyes cut to me, the look in them makes me shiver. I know I made a mistake, and need to fess up to it, but I’m terrified of what may happen when I do. I’ve finally got Wes and Trey to see me as a human, and less of a sex slave, less of the enemy.
What happens now?
“I…I…” My lips tremble as I speak.
“Tell them, Jessa. Tell them how you didn’t follow my direct orders and were planning to escape.” It’s Declan who speaks up this time.
“Is that true? Were you going to run away from us?” Trey asks, his eyes burning holes into me. I don’t want to admit it, but not admitting to it is just as bad. No matter which way this goes I know they’ll see me as guilty.
“I-I don’t know…I was scared and confused. I still am. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to think or who to trust, and all I did was stop to catch my breath. I know it was stupid and careless, but I swear…it wasn’t…I wasn’t setting him up to get shot.” Three pairs of eyes meet mine, and I know I’m losing my edge. All the trust I had earned from them, and it was for nothing. I feel tears sting my eyes. I want to cry, and I probably should, but I’m not nearly as weak as I was when they captured me and brought me here.
“I killed…I killed someone for him,” I say, hoping it will lessen the blow of what I’ve already done.
“She did. She killed the fucker right in front of me, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t her fault. All of it is her fault…” Declan snarls.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize shamefully, knowing they will punish me, and most likely put me back downstairs in the cell.
“It’s up to you, Declan. You’re the one that got hurt. What do you want to do with her?” Wes asks, and I swear I see him cringe as he does.
He wouldn’t…he wouldn’t let him kill me, would he?
“Don’t let him choose Wes. He’ll kill her,” Trey states before Declan can answer. Looks are exchanged between the three brothers, a war raging, a storm brewing.
“If her punishment is a fucking bullet to the head, what does it matter?”
“Declan…” Trey warns, his eyes cutting to me. He’s looking at me like I’ve been sacrificed to the devil or something, and I guess I have.
Declan stares at me for a long time, every second of waiting for his answer feels like an eternity. I’m already running scenarios in my head of how I’m going to fight him if he tries to hurt me. No way am I going to let them kill me. I’ll fight, even if my chances are slim…I will fight.
“Leave. Get out of my room. She stays until I’m finished with her. If she is still alive afterwards, then I will come and let you know.
“Wes.” Trey’s tone takes on a panicked sound, but I don’t even move from my spot on the floor or look up at him to give him a reassuring smile. I can tell Wes wants to stop this, but he owes his brother the right. I don’t know what is going to take place, but I’m not going to let Declan end me. I’ll fight tooth and nail to become his equal.
“It’s his choice, Trey.”
“I know, but he’s going to kill her. He’s going to fucking kill her.” Trey’s muscled body vibrates with anger, his clenched fists hang at his sides and I know he wants to punch something or someone for that matter.
“Out. Get out,” Declan orders, and Wes grabs Trey by the arm pulling him toward the door. I lift my gaze for half a second, just long enough to get a good look at their faces before they walk out, and as soon as I do, I realize I shouldn’t have. Trey looks like he’s going to be sick, and Wes doesn’t look any better.