Mr. Cole put his glass down on the counter top none to gently. He ran the back of one shaking hand across his mouth.
“Ariel,” he said in a rough voice. “I-”
“I already talked to the guys,” Quinton said. His voice had changed to something gentler than normal and a whole lot sweeter. “They’ve got no problem with her moving in with us. She’ll have her own bedroom and even her own bathroom. Ty, Addison and Abel are already living there. She’d be safe there with us and we want her there.”
My breath left me in a rush.
&nbs
p; No. No. No.
I did not want to live in that house. She was buried there. In the basement. If I moved in I would never escape her.
“If it’s what Ariel wants then I will have to be okay with it.” With that Mr. Cole walked out of the kitchen. I tried to catch his eyes with mine, but he refused to look at me.
My heart sank.
In trying to do the right thing I’d hurt him. Hurting him had been the last thing I had wanted to do.
It seemed the only thing I was capable of anymore was hurting the people around me.
My bottom lip trembled as I dug my fingernails into my palms. I needed the pain to make the tears go away.
Damn.
I did not want to cry again.
A tear slid out of my eye anyway.
Chapter Nine
“I think we should-”
“Go away, Quinton,” I said softly.
“Baby,” he murmured.
He touched my shoulder and I jerked away from him like his touch had stung me. I had no desire to be comforted by his words or his touch at the moment.
“I want to be alone right now,” I told him before turning and walking quickly out of the kitchen.
I hoped he knew this wasn’t me running away from him again. I knew it was absurd, needing space when I’d just been alone for weeks, but I didn’t want to be around other people when I was hurting. I wasn’t any good when it came to sharing my feelings and I really didn’t want someone to hold my hand while coddling me and telling me everything would be okay. I didn’t think Quinton would be very good at coddling, but he’d likely make me more of those promises he and Tyson were so fond of. And, going on how touchy feely he could get, I knew he would for sure hold my hand.
I walked away and this time I did it without feeling guilty doing it. I would make a point to go over and see him later or I could get his phone number off of Tyson and I could text him to let him know I was okay. I had a feeling Quint wouldn’t expect an apology or an explanation from me, but he would want to know about my wellbeing.
I made it up the stairs and to my bedroom in record time. I didn’t want to stay in the house with Mr. Cole, I had to get out of there. But first, I needed a shower.
I made my bed before going into my closet to pick out clothes. I pulled a black, short-sleeved t-shirt off of a white, plastic hanger. The front of the shirt said Go Float Yourself in white cursive lettering. I had found it for a steal online after becoming obsessed with the television show The 100. I hadn’t read the books yet, but I did order the first one when I got the shirt and had every intention of reading all of them. The shirt and the book had only arrived days ago, and this would be the first time wearing it.
I dug through a black laundry basket on the floor that had my folded clean clothes in it that I had yet to put away. I found a pair of black leggings and a purple bra with matching panties. I grabbed a rolled-up pair of fuzzy purple socks to match the underwear. Not that anyone would see my underthings or care that they matched my socks. Because I planned on spending the rest of my day alone, of course. Not that that would matter.
I left the closet, tossed my fuzzy socks onto my nicely made bed and went into the bathroom. I went to shut the door and hesitated. I had been using the bathroom down the hallway to shower ever since the… accident. Did I really want to shower in here now?
I stared blankly at the counter and could see her head bouncing off the corner like it was happening right in front of my face again. I saw her head hit the floor and the blood start to pool out around her. And her eyes. Those dead, sightless, achingly familiar eyes.
I drew in a deep breath and shook my head, trying to shake free of the memories. It was just a shower in a normal bathroom, I could manage that.
I avoided the counter and moved towards the shower.