Good God. That dreaded question. How was your first day of school? I didn’t have an answer for him, at least not one he’d enjoy hearing.
And my damn mother, everything always came back to her with pretty much everything.
“Ariel?”
Crap.
“Fine,” I lied, wincing. I didn’t like lying to him. He had my mother for that, he didn’t need more lies from me, too. He was a nice person who didn’t deserve any of what he was going to get even though he’d kind of asked for it.
“You don’t seem fine.” His voice was laced with a touch of concern. No one was ever concerned for me.
I hated to do it because he was so damn nice and I knew the only reason he said anything was because he cared about me. It felt really nice having someone care about me for a change. But I had to do it. For his sake and my own.
Eyes aimed straight ahead, not daring to look at him, I huffed. “How would you know?” I asked snottily and then kept right on going just as snottily. “You don’t know me. You don’t know the first thing about me. Listen, Mr. Cole,” he hated that I wouldn’t call him by his first name which is why I never used it, “you’re not the first man to come into her life and you likely won’t be the last. They all want to get to know me,” another straight up lie, those losers before him never even looked my way, “but they never stick around long enough to do so. And, let’s be real here, we aren’t going to be around here long enough for you to get to know me either. So why bother?”
I didn’t want to be a snotty brat to him, but I didn’t think I had much of a choice.
Voice quiet, with a touch of sadness, he said, “You’re right, I don’t know you very well. You haven’t allowed for that. But I’d like the chance to get to know you. I’d very much like the chance to get to know you. But you’re also wrong, you’re not leaving any time soon. And if you want, you don’t ever have to leave at all. No matter what happens between your mother and I, you won’t ever have to leave if you want to stay. I promise.”
I believed him about wanting to get to know me, and in a different lifetime I would have really liked for him to get to know me, too. But we weren’t in a different lifetime, we were in the here and now. And all the rest? About me being able to stay with him even if he and my mother didn’t work out. That was outright laughable. He had to be crazy. If he threw my mother out on her ass there was absolutely no way I’d be able to remain in his home. That was crazy! For one, he’d known me all of two months and we’d just established he didn’t even really know me in the slightest bit. And for two, that crazy woman would get drunk and probably try to burn his house down if he tried to keep me after deciding he didn’t want her. He had no clue who he’d let into his house, into his bed.
But damn, his words felt good. So incredibly good to hear. And because of that I needed to put a stop to this immediately.
I hardened my heart, clenched my jaw and spoke through gritted teeth. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll pass. It’s not like you’re my new Daddy or anything. You’re simply one in a long line of many, even if you think you’ll be the last. You won’t. And then that will be that.”
I regretted them as soon as the words were out of my mouth. I regretted trying to hurt him, and I regretted making my mother sound like an easy whore. If this got back to her I’d never hear the end of it. God help me if he went and repeated this conversation to her.
We rode the rest of the way to school in complete silence. I guess I’d gotten my point across. Now why did that hurt so much?
A block away from the school he surprised me by slowing down and pulling off to the side of the road. What the?
Mr. Cole cleared his throat. “For whatever reason, you didn’t want to be seen with me dropping you off at school so I thought it would be best to drop you off here. If you’d like, I could pick you up here as well.”
Such a nice thing to do, especially after I’d been so nasty to him. Gah, I couldn’t take much more of it. I felt like I owed him an explanation along with a heartfelt apology.
Hey there, Marcus (I figured if it was only a conversation in my head I might as well go ahead and call him by his first name liked he wanted me to. Why not?). I’m super-duper sorry my mother is such a greedy, blood thirsty, soul sucking A-hole. If I were you I’d prepare for the worst because things are only going to go downhill from here. Oh, and also, I’m super-duper sorry about the emotional train wreck of a teenager now living under your roof and the attitude she’s been throwing at you. So sorry.
Yeah, no. Apparently, I couldn’t come up with an explanation and a heartfelt apology. The poor man.
Without a word in response, I climbed out of the car. I made sure to not slam the door, instead closing it with a soft click. As I walked the block to school I kept glancing over my shoulder. The car didn’t move until the school came into view. Making sure I got to school safe.
My insides warmed as I fought the urge to turn around and run back to the safety of Mr. Cole’s car.
I wished things could be different.
But they weren’t.
And I had another day in hell to survive. Only the second of many to come.
Chapter Five
Day two of school and a miracle had occurred. A crazy, potentially awesome miracle. I could only hope it lasted. Every single person who’d been a soul crushing A-hole to me only the day before had completely, utterly, entirely forgotten about me today. It’s like my existence didn’t even register on their radar today.
As I entered the building I did it differently than I had the day before. Today I looked up and around me, refusing to hide my eyes from anyone. My ride to school with Mr. Cole had put me in a weird mood, and for whatever reason, emboldened me. I felt terrible for treating Mr. Cole badly and was feeling the need to lash out at the next person who looked at me funny in order to take my frustration and anger out on them. Which didn’t exactly sit well with me seein’ as I’m not normally a person prone to acts of violence or giving voice to the slanderous words inside my head.
But no one looked at me funny. Heck, forget them looking at me funny, no one bothered to look at me at all. It was bizarre, I tell you. Totally freaking bizarre. To say the least. I’d think I had walked into an entirely different school or possibly even a different universe if it hadn’t been for all the whispering going on behind hands, hearing Tyson’s name dropped more than once amongst those whispered words and the fact that the Pretty Princess Barbie and her twin Ken were still very much in attendance. Perhaps bizarre wasn’t even a strong enough word to begin describing just how weird the whole thing was.
I should have rejoiced. Instead I was wary.