I took the hint and headed towards the kitchen. I was starving. That apple at lunch had not cut it for me and I’d been too nervous before school to eat anything for breakfast.
The kitchen was very modern, probably cost a fortune and it was absurdly large. As was the rest of the house. A living room, a formal living room, a formal dining room with a massive table, six bedrooms, eight bathrooms, a media room. There was more but I hadn’t explored the whole house yet, and honestly, I had no desire to. I stuck to my bedroom, which was more a suite than a bedroom, and the kitchen. I’d been forced to use the dining room once and that was when we first got here and Mr. Cole’s family had showed up to inspect my mother and me. Otherwise, I usually ate by myself standing at the kitchen counter or I brought my food up to my room and ate it there. Either way I always ate by myself. My mother and Mr. Cole went out to dinner every night. I didn’t know if this was because he wanted to show her off on his arm as his young and pretty arm candy, or if it was because she couldn’t cook and didn’t want him to find out that particular tidbit about herself just yet so she convinced him to take her out every night. He’d invited me at first but she shot me warning looks every time that told me she would be pissed if I accepted so I turned him down every time. Eventually, he stopped inviting me. That worked just fine for me. I didn’t want him to think I was an ungrateful brat but I’d rather he thought that than have to spend any more time than absolutely necessary with the vile creature that was my mother.
I made myself a turkey and cheese sandwich, grabbed a bag of Doritos along with a can of Coke and headed up to my room. Something as simple as having cupboards and a refrigerator filled with food most people took for granted, but not me. I was used to living off the bare minimum because my mother put things like cigarettes and vodka ahead of groceries. Before moving here, I could never come home from school hungry and make myself a sandwich, and we certainly hadn’t had things like chips and pop. I’d usually go hungry and end up eating Ramen for dinner hours later. A sandwich and a bag of Doritos was like living the high life for me.
As I climbed the stairs to my bedroom I made sure to put up visual blinders. I didn’t want to take in the happy family photos that lined the walls at every turn. I had no business intruding on that happy family even in their memories. Frankly, I was surprised my mother hadn’t tried to convince Mr. Cole to take the pictures down. It probably wouldn’t be long before she had him in the palm of her hand and a decorator at her every whim and mercy.
When I had my door closed shut and locked behind me I unceremoniously dropped my bag to the floor and kicked off my shoes.
My room was spacious. I had a queen size sleigh bed, a huge step up from my twin mattress on the floor that I used to sleep on. My comforter was a really pretty light blue and decorated with large, red rose blossoms. My pillowcases the same. It was very girly and I adored it. The rest of the room was mostly barren. There was a tall dresser across the room from my bed and a window seat covered with decorative toss pillows. That was it for furniture and I had nothing on the walls. I’d shoved my meager belongings in the walk-in closet and that’s where they’d stayed. Even the damn dresser was mostly empty. The room was massive, with enough space for a couch and sitting area. I wished I had more furniture to fill it with.
Mr. Cole told me he’d left it empty of furnishings so I could pick out what I liked. He’d also given me a brand new laptop upon arrival as a house warming gift. I loved it. My mother had given me the stink eye when he’d given it to me so I’d immediately tried to return it to him. He wouldn’t take it back and I’m almost certain he’d caught my mother’s stink eye but couldn’t be sure.
I headed straight for the window seat, it was the best part about the whole room. The pillows were all in bright, girly colors and some of them even matched my bedspread. Mr. Cole had gotten them for me. I could sit there for hours and read or just gaze out at the sky and let my mind wander.
I sat the plate with my sandwich on it next to me and ripped open the bag of Doritos with my teeth. Bad habit, I know. I took my first bite out of my sandwich as I gazed out the window.
I almost choked.
Tyson’s black Audi was pulling up the driveway of the house next door. The house that had been lacking its occupants since I’d arrived here. Apparently, my creative writing table mate had been telling the truth and he was my neighbor. Huh.
I watched him park his car in front of the closed garage doors, get out and head inside through the front door.
I couldn’t help but notice that his house looked almost identical to Mr. Cole’s house. The houses weren’t right on top of each other but it seemed weird because we were so far outside of town that it felt odd having neighbors at all. I thought that maybe there should have been some trees between the two houses or something. I also couldn’t help but wonder which bedroom was Tyson’s. A crazy thought I did not need to be thinking about. Especially since he and pretty much everybody else seemed to hate me so much.
Still, I couldn’t stop my thoughts from lingering on him. I was so curious about him. Did he live alone? Where had he been for the whole summer? Why didn’t he have any friends when people had tried to befriend him? Did he have a girlfriend that no one knew about? And, most importantly, why did I care so much about the answer to that last question?
I knew I was pretty, I didn’t flaunt it, but still, I knew it. I’d seen pictures of my mother at my age and I looked a whole lot like her. The only difference was her eyes were blue and mine were green. A trait I must have gotten from my nonexistent father.
I’d gone out on dates before. Boys had noticed my looks and were all too eager to ask me out in the hopes of getting in my pants. I’d never fallen for it, though. I was the girl from the wrong side of the tracks with a stripper for a mother, people had assumed I was easy because of it. I wasn’t. I’d gone out on a few dates with a few different boys, fooled around a bit, but I never let it get carried away. The last thing I ever wanted was to be like my mother. Somehow, I’d gotten lucky and the boys I’d fooled around with had never spread rumors about me. Or, maybe they had and the rumors just never made it back to me.
Eventually I might have allowed for things to progress further than making out if I had found the right person to do it with.
As if they were no longer under my control, my eyes drifted over to Tyson’s house.
I shouldn’t find him attractive, not with his A-hole personality shining bright and clear for all to see. And I certainly shouldn’t find myself so profoundly curious about him. I shouldn’t… but I did all the same.
***
I woke with a start and immediately felt a kink in my neck. My forehead was cold and pressed up to the glass window pane. I’d fallen asleep reading in the window seat, and not for the first time. I had an entire box full of books sitting on the floor in my giant closet. With nowhere to put them I left the box unpacked and in my closet. I knew all I had to do was tell Mr. Cole I needed a shelf for my books and he’d get me one. He was waiting on me to tell him what I wanted to do with my bedroom to make it my own but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him for anything.
Since coming here I’d had a whole lot of time on my hands with nothing to do. So I spent a lot of time in the window seat reading or curled up on the comfy swing in the back yard reading. My entire summer had been spent with my nose stuck in a book.
The darkened sky informed me I’d been asleep for a while and night had fallen. The house was silent. They were either out to eat or it was late enough for them to be home and in bed. Of course, no one had come to check on me, to see if I’d done my homework, to see if I’d like something to eat for dinner. Not that I expected such things, but it still hurt to be so thoroughly forgotten, nothing more than my mother’s pawn to be taken out and moved about how she saw fit, when she needed me for something.
I was tired of being a pawn in a game I wasn’t even playing. And very lonely. No one to care and no friends to my name. Just me, my hateful mother and her rich sugar daddy.
I laughed.
I’d find no friends here. Not now that the jocks had christened me freak show for no apparent reason other than the fact they were A-holes. Not that it mattered. I’d never really had any friends to name and I always did just fine on my own. The loneliness would always be a part of me, an ache I’d never not know. Could be worse. I could be legless and lonely. Although, I bet if I were legless I’d at least have one friend out of pity, no doubt.
I laughed again. Goodness, no wonder I didn’t have any damn friends.
Flashing light outside the window caught my attention. Headlights in the driveway next door. Two sets of them for two separate vehicles. No action all summer and an empty house. He’d been back all but a day and already he had visitors. My nose pressed damn near to the window.
Where were his parents? Did he live alone? He couldn’t be living by himself in that big house. I wracked my brain, flittering through all the gossip and whispered words I’d heard about Tyson throughout the day. His name had been whispered almost as much as my own. To my recollection no one had mentioned his parents, or lack thereof. Perhaps he’d like to borrow mine? He could just have my mother. Seriously, he’d be doing me a favor. No. Never mind. She’d try to sleep with him for sure. He drove an Audi and lived in a huge house, of course she’d try to sleep with him. The fact he was attractive and far too young for her wouldn’t have meant squat.
My mother disgusted me.