He was going to hear his baby’s heartbeat for the first time. He felt his own heartbeat kick into high gear with anticipation. Somehow, the baby had seemed almost theoretical before. Now, it was about to be very real.
“Have you lost weight this trimester?” The doctor asked as she began to skim a T-shaped wand over Jennie’s stomach. The machine made noise but nothing that sounded like a heartbeat. Just a sort of echoey white noise.
The doctor looked unconcerned but Chad was holding his breath. He leaned forward, listening intently, but hearing nothing close to a heartbeat. He was suddenly more afraid than ever that something was wrong.
Please, no. Please don’t let anything be wrong.
“A few pounds,” said Jennie. “I’ve been throwing up so much.”
As she and the doctor talked, Chad wondered how they could remain so calm. He clenched his hands into fists and fought the rising panic as his heart slammed around in his chest.
Where is the heartbeat? They should have heard it by now, right?
In reality, he had no idea if the doctor should have been able to find the heartbeat more quickly or not. And, not knowing, not being in control of things, left him feeling more frightened than he was comfortable with. How would he make it through six more months of this?
“That’s all right. Many women either don’t gain any weight or even lose a few pounds in the first trimester. As long as it doesn’t keep up, it’s okay. We’ll want to see you start to gain a little as you get into your second trimester.”
Chad sat upright as he heard the quick flutters of a heartbeat. It sounded too fast. It made him think of a bird not a baby.
Is it supposed to sound that fast?
He eyed the doctor as his mind flipped through the pages of the book he’d been reading, but he couldn’t remember reading anything about the baby’s heart rate.
He caught Jennie’s eyes and she smiled at him, making him melt. For a split second, he was able to pretend that she loved him as much as he loved her. That she wanted this baby to be his. That she was happy to be sharing this moment with him.
The doctor’s voice cut in. “There’s your baby,” she smiled at them.
“Is the heartbeat too fast? That sounds really fast,” he said.
“No, not at all. That’s exactly what we want to hear.”
All too soon, the doctor pulled away the machine and wiped Jennie’s stomach, then helped her sit up on the table.
“All right. I’m going to give you a prescription for some anti-nausea meds. You still might not feel very hungry for a lot of foods. Dad,” said Dr. Breckman, turning to Chad, “try foods that are similar in texture to what she’s been keeping down. See if she can handle scrambled eggs, yogurt, maybe something like banana bread or pumpkin bread instead of pastries. Some pregnant women find they can stomach those little pouches of pureed baby food. They have mixtures of fruits and veggies and a pregnant woman can suck down one of those every few hours instead of eating a big meal. That can be one of the best ways for an expecting mom to get nutrients right now.”
Chad was typing the list on his phone. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he’d just crossed the line into crazed-father mode instead of his typical calm but he didn’t give a rat’s ass. He’d get more food into Jen if it killed him.
After they left the doctor’s office, he pulled into the grocery store lot and left Jennie waiting in the truck. She looked worn out even from their short trip to the doctor. He dropped the prescription at the pharmacy desk and went to collect the list of foods the doctor had suggested. When he got back to the truck, he got one of those are-you-freaking-kidding-me looks from Jennie as she surveyed the six bags of groceries he piled on the back seat.
“Wow,” Jennie said. “Just, wow.”
He grinned at her. So, he might have overdone the groceries a bit. They probably wouldn’t go through three cartons of eggs and six flavors of yogurt and forty little single-serve packets of baby food very quickly.
She laughed at him and shook her head but he didn’t care. He’d heard his baby’s heartbeat today. It was the most incredible feeling in the world and he damn well wasn’t going to let his baby be underfed.
Chapter 29
The baby food packets ended up being the saving grace for Jennie. She could stomach those more easily than anything else. Chad had to eat all three-dozen eggs by himself, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was much happier since the doctor’s visit.
And that happiness grounded her in some way.
Jennie sat on one of the rockers on the front porch watching the sun glitter on the lake. Over the past week, she’d regained a lot of her strength. The prescription the doctor had written was a godsend.
She could eat baby food and pudding and yogurt with no issues. As long as she didn’t get too close to any of the food Chad was eating, she was fine. Sometimes, if she smelled his food, she’d still turn green, but even so, the worst of it seemed to be over.
As she entered her eleventh week of pregnancy, she was finally excited about the idea of a baby growing inside her. The idea that she would have this little tiny infant to hold in her arms soon.
Now if only all of the other stuff would go away. The threat from Rick Bandon. The stress of having to get up on a stand and testify against dangerous men who might hurt her or her child. The never-ending desire that thrummed through her body whenever she looked at Chad. Whenever he spoke. Whenever he was close enough for her to smell or to reach out and touch.