As soon as I’m comfortable and my eyes start to drift closed, I hear the bedroom door creak open, and my heart starts racing all over again. It’s almost completely dark inside my apartment, but I can still make out her small silhouette against the dim light coming from the window.
I swallow, watching her like a fucking creep.
She walks into the room on tiptoes, and I figure she’s going to the kitchen to grab something to drink or maybe eat. Shit, it dawns on me then I didn’t even offer her a sandwich or glass of water. I feel like an even bigger asshole—take her virginity, but don’t even give her food.
Yeah, I’m a total asshole.
Shock fills my veins when she heads straight for me, her feet making small pitter-patters against the floor. What the hell she is going to do? Stab me? Smother me with a pillow?
Yeah, I wish I could kill myself too.
I remain very still and pretend to be asleep. I don’t even think I’d try to stop her if she wanted to punch me in the face. I’m surprised as hell when she starts climbing on top of me, so surprised I forget to tell her no. Bracing herself with both hands on my shoulders, she lowers onto my body.
Then she does something crazy, something that breaks every single fucking rule I’ve put into place in the last seven days. She rests her beautiful little head against my chest, right above my heart where I know she can hear it beating, and whispers, “I love you.” So softly, it’s almost inaudible. I want to scream the same words right back at her. I want to tell her how much I love her, how much I want her, but I don’t. I can’t. Not yet. My only hope right now is she realizes my heart beats only for her—only for us.
***
When I open my eyes, it takes me a minute to realize where I am. Even my own living room looks unfamiliar when I’m used to waking up in my bed. I stretch and groan. Memories of last night slam into me, each one making me cringe a little bit more than the next.
Elyse.
Where is she?
She was here with me when I fell asleep. I scan the room, but I’m alone. The bedroom door is wide open, but I don’t see her in there either.
I start to panic—like a serious fucking panic. If anything happens to her…
My heart races as I run through my apartment searching every room like a lunatic. My feet freeze in front of the closed bathroom door and my ears perk up when I hear the water running.
Sucking fresh air into my lungs, I sigh in relief, waiting for my heart rate to return to a normal speed. She is here, safe, I remind myself. I clench my fists. I seriously need to get a grip on my emotions when it comes to her. If I don’t, this will all be for nothing…
Opening the bathroom door, I’m hit with a hot cloud of steam.
“What happened last night can’t happen again,” I announce. I’m not sure why I blurt out these words, but I need her to know, and I can’t share with her how much her not being there when I woke up scared me.
Elyse pokes her head out from behind the shower curtain. The color of her hair seems darker. She drips water all over the place, her eyes meeting mine for a brief second. “Well, good morning to you too, and yes, I slept well, thank you for asking.” Dipping her head back behind the curtain, she continues, “Breakfast you say? Yes, sure, I’d love to have breakfast with you. Thank you for the kind invite.”
I can’t miss the giggle of laughter that fills the room. God, she is so fucking adorable, it’s sick. “I’m serious. Last night was a lapse in judgement on my part, and it won’t happen again. From here on out, you will sleep in my room, in my bed, alone.” I force myself to finish the sentence. Sleeping with her is the only time I get any sleep. She’s like a security blanket…like a damn teddy bear, and I don’t want to fucking give her up.
She laughs some more and starts humming, clearly ignoring me. With a roll of my eyes, I leave the room, slamming the door shut behind me. I stomp back into the kitchen and open the fridge to evaluate its contents. Shit—not good.
There’s half a six pack, a bottle of ketchup, a jar of pickles, and some leftover Chinese food from three days ago. Mmm, breakfast of champions.
I slam the door shut on that too. Grocery shopping it is. I head into my bedroom and get dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Then I sit down on my bed and wait not so patiently for Elyse to get done in the bathroom.