The minutes tick by ever so fucking slowly.
I fiddle with my fingers. Having her here at my place for whoever knows how long is going to be torture of the worst kind. My room already smells of her—flowers, sunshine, and fucking happiness. It’s disgusting, and beautiful. Her things are already spread around here like they belong here, like she lives here. I swallow, my mouth dry. The longer I sit, the more I think, and the more I think…well, the worse it is for me.
Memories of last night keep invading my mind. Like a nightmare on repeat, I’m reminded why I’ve never loved someone or even considered loving someone other than my mother.
And still, I did something crazy. I’d never fucked a girl without a condom before, but with Elyse, it was different. With her, I didn’t want there to be anything between us. I wanted to feel her. Every quiver, every pulse, every flutter of her pussy—I wanted to feel, deep down inside me. Truth be told, pregnancy was the farthest thing from my mind.
All my life, I’ve been worried about that with other girls, even more so than getting an STD. Since the moment I first got my dick wet, I’ve been scared of getting some poor girl pregnant, so I always wrap up, no matter what.
But thinking of Elyse, her belly growing round with our baby, awakens some primal need I wasn’t even aware I had. My cock jumps at the thoughts assaulting me. Fuck, I know it’s going to be hard to keep my hands off her, and even harder now thinking of all the ways I can make her mine and seal our fates.
The sound of the bathroom door opening fills my ears and I push the thoughts so far down, I hope I won’t ever find them again. “Get dressed. We need to go grocery shopping.” My voice is deep and doesn’t even sound like it belongs to me.
Elyse stops dead in her tracks. Her skin is red from the heat of the water and her hair is wrapped up in a towel that sits perfectly on her head. She looks absolutely stunning. I want to devour her right now—right fucking now.
“I need to go back to my place.”
I blink, as if I didn’t hear her.
“I could meet you back here later,” she continues.
Did she not fucking hear me yesterday? The fact that she is so naive to the bad things in the world is seriously a bad thing. Being as naive as she is could get her killed right now—or worse, raped, or taken into the flesh trades.
I try my best to remain calm when I speak, but there is no easier way to get the words across to her. “Fuck no. You’re not leaving my side. What did you not understand about anything I told you last night?” I shake my head and move my neck from side to side, trying to ease the tension. “If you must go back to your place, we can do it together, get groceries, then come back here. But sorry, there is no way I’m letting you out of my sight.”
I watch her face go from puzzled to excited and wonder what happened to the girl I saw yesterday. Maybe I broke her? I don’t really know. All I know is I don’t deserve the girl standing in front of me.
Certain she was going to fight me on the matter, I nearly sigh when she doesn’t. She nods her head in agreement, and I watch her as she peels the towel from her body, tossing it to the floor. I continue to stare, sitting on my hands afraid, I may reach out and touch her if I get the chance as she gets dressed.
Why do I torture myself like this?
Elyse doesn’t seem bothered by it, though. She doesn’t say anything. She just watches me watching her. Like it’s a completely fucking normal thing to do.
When we walk out of my apartment and over to my car, I have to fight the urge not to take her hand into my own. Instead, I take out my phone and scroll through my contacts. I find Damon’s name on the list and hit the green call button.
I hold the phone up to my ear and listen to it ring, waiting for an answer, but it never comes. His voicemail picks up after the fifth ring. Now, Elyse will be with me until he gets back in touch with me. “Call me back. I need to talk to you,” I say after the message tone, trying to keep my voice even so he doesn’t get spooked and avoid me on purpose. That’d be a shit mistake on his part. If I don’t hear from him soon, I’ll just show up at his place, which is the only alternative I have.