Chapter Thirteen
Hero
Looking down at the small frame of her shaking body evokes a whole new set of feelings inside me. I’ve been mean, carless, and hateful—all to protect her from my past, from the person I really am. But at what cost?
Her feelings, our future…
She continues to shake as I pick up the blanket and cradle her in my arms, whispering promises I know I can’t keep.
“You’ll always be safe with me and I’ll never hurt you again.”
What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
Everything I’ve done is to protect her, but how can I protect her if someone is after her? It could be a ploy I suppose, but Elyse is innocent, and she’d never be cunning enough to come up with something like that, especially if she thought it’s been me watching her.
“We need to get rid of her.” Damon’s words ring in my ear. That fucker. It has to be him. Who else could it be? I play the rest of his words back in my mind.
“Because if you don’t, I will. We can’t have any loose ends ever, not even her.” He basically told me he would come after her. I thought my fist to his face gave him a clear enough message, but apparently fucking not.
I tighten my hold on Elyse and press my nose into her golden-brown hair. Her scent calms me and warms me all over. I’ve missed her—so fucking much, it hurts. I don’t know how I’ve survived the last few days without her. My thoughts are a jumbled mess, but the only thing I can think about is how horrible I was to her tonight.
I take in one more deep breath, sucking in as much of her unique scent as I can.
“Do you really mean it?” She sniffles into my chest, her body resting on mine.
“Mean what?” I shift her in my arms so I can look into her eyes. There are tears forming, close to spilling over the rims. Knowing I’m the one making her cry tears me apart.
I want to punch myself in the face for doing this to her, she deserves better, so much fucking better.
“Everything. Did you really not miss me? Because being without you killed me. I waited for a text or call, anything. I was upset and paranoid and thought if only I could catch you watching me, maybe I could confront you.”
The anguish in her voice slices me in half. I want to tell her everything, but I can’t lie to her anymore tonight. Not that it really matters. I’ll lie to her again. I can’t tell her the truth. Not when it’s for the better.
“I’m going to sleep on the couch. In the morning, we’re going to see Damon and put an end to this. Then you’ll be safe again and can go back to your own place.”
The tears finally spillover, finding their way down her perfect little face.
Fighting the urge to touch the shiny path the tears have left behind, I step back, putting some distance between us.
I have to force myself to leave the room and close the door behind me. Each step away from her kills me, but I can’t be close to her and not touch her, not right now. Walking into the kitchen, I head for the sink. I turn on the faucet and splash some cold water onto my face, hoping it wakes me up from this nightmare.
What the fuck did I do?
I fucked up, that’s what I did. Meandering over to the fridge, I open it and grab a beer out. I pop the top and chug the whole thing. It does nothing for me, though. It doesn’t ease the ache or make my heart stop bleeding.
I crush the can with one hand and throw it into the trash on my way out to the couch.
As soon as I lay down, my mind starts playing back all the things I did to Elyse today. Fuck, I hurt her in the worst possible ways. I lied to her, treated her like she meant nothing to me, and then I took her innocence.
But the worst part of all is she still looks at me like she cares. As if I deserve any of her affection, attention, or even her after what I’ve done.
It would be so much fucking easier if she just hated me. Why can’t she see how bad I am for her? At the same time, I’m not sure I’ll let her go. Yeah, I tried pushing her away, but my heart bleeds for her. The day I kissed her, I knew she was it for me. I fucking knew it.
Sighing, I close my eyes, trying to force myself to go to sleep. Sleep. That’s what I need, that’ll make me treat her right, right? I almost snort at my thoughts, shifting around on the couch as I try to find a comfortable spot.