WREN
It’slate afternoon and we’re checking out the shops downtown, strolling by the gorgeously decorated window displays hand in hand. Crew humors me every time I stop to marvel at the pretty Christmas decorations, or when I have to look inside the store, though I never buy anything.
There’s really no one I want to buy Christmas gifts for. My grandparents on both sides are gone. I don’t have siblings. I’m not that close to any of my aunts and uncles. There are only my parents, and what do you buy the people who own everything they could ever want?
It was so much easier when I was younger and I could make them gifts in class. The pressure was off. Now I’m on the hunt for something special and unique, and I’m coming up empty.
The air is crisp and bitingly cold, the sky heavy with clouds. Snow lines the sidewalks, and the spindly trees are strung with twinkling white lights. Christmas decorations are everywhere. Large pine wreaths trimmed with simple red ribbons. Beautifully decorated Christmas trees stand tall in store windows. When the door opens of almost any shop, the sound of Christmas music wafts in the air, filling me with excitement.
I’ve never had a boyfriend during the holiday season—and my birthday—before. Well, I’ve never had a boyfriend, period. And while I’m not sure if I can consider Crew Lancaster my actual boyfriend, it feels like he could be.
And that feels more magical than the holiday season.
I think of last night and what we shared. How we ate dinner and kissed for a little while. Tried to watch a movie but we both could barely keep our eyes open. We ended up going to bed and never really did anything. Woke up and got ready for the day like it was perfectly normal for us to have slept together.
It was kind of nice, sleeping with Crew. Studying his face before he woke up. How sweet he looked, like the little boy he used to be. I woke him up by touching his cheek, and when he first cracked his eyes open, he looked at me as if I were the most wondrous thing he’s ever seen. It made my heart expand, filling me with far too much hope, which I needed after the doubt I struggled with last night.
He's been patient with me all day, indulging my every whim. We ate breakfast at the hotel restaurant. Went driving around looking at all the stately houses in the area, all of them decorated for the holidays. We finally ended up here in the downtown area, which is bustling with people out shopping for gifts. It all feels so natural, spending time with Crew like this. Having him smile at me, wanting to touch me. I could get used to this.
And that’s terrifying.
I’m wandering around a shop full of useless but beautiful knickknacks, Crew patient by my side, when I come to a stop, exhaling loudly. “I don’t know what to get my mother for Christmas.”
“Is that what you’ve been looking for? Gifts for your mom?”
“And my dad.” I pick up a rustic bird carved out of wood, turning it this way and that, appreciating the technique. “They’re impossible to buy for.”
“So are mine.”
“What are you getting them?” I glance over at him expectantly.
“Nothing.” He shrugs.
I frown. “You aren’t buying them anything?”
“There’s no point. They don’t expect any of us to. Especially me.”
“Why especially you?” I set the bird down on the shelf, only for Crew to immediately pick it up.
“I’m the baby of the family. They don’t expect me to do much of anything,” he admits, weighing the carved bird in his hand. “I think I want this.”
“It is beautiful,” I agree. “And I’m pretty sure everything in this store is handmade by local artists.”
“It reminds me of you.” He holds his hand out, the bird sitting on his wide palm. “My little birdy.”
My heart swells and I do my best to mentally tell it to calm down. “That’s so sweet,” I murmur.
“I’m getting it. You should get one too. Give it to your parents. Tell them it represents you.” He nods toward the other birds sitting on the shelf.
“That’s a good idea.” I look over the remaining birds, choosing my favorite one before I follow after Crew. A question suddenly pops into my mind and I hesitate before blurting, “Do you want anything for Christmas?”
He turns to face me. “From you?”
“Well, yeah.” I roll my eyes. Like this is no big thing.
But it feels like a very big thing. A scary thing.
“If you want.” He starts heading for the short line to get rung up and I fall into step behind him.