Chapter 20
Holden
I’m pissed off.
I’m frustrated.
I’m infuriated.
Staring across the party, I notice that Skylar is yet again missing. I’m even more annoyed that Alex doesn’t seem to care. It’s his damn sister, and he doesn’t show any sign of being worried that his sister for the past month has been avoiding us. Not only has she been avoiding us, but I’m sure she’s with that short fused dick, Adrian.
Sipping at my beer, I watch as Alex is making a total shit of himself, and I’m just losing my temper. Watching them all mess around, I finally see the party that Skylar sees. She hates parties, and I can see why. Everyone is drunk, fighting, or groping each other.
“Hey, you. You look ready to kill someone.”
I look down to see Skylar’s roommate, Cara? Charlie?
“It’s Claire,” she says, clearly seeing I’m having trouble remembering her name.
“Sorry,” I mutter. My head is currently stuck on my own shit, and I’m getting drunk. I scrub a hand over my hair. “I’m kind of buzzed. Don’t take it personally.”
She shrugs.
“Do you happen to know where she is?” Why I blurted that out I have no clue. I feel like it’s an asshole thing to say, seeing as she came up to talk.
“Sky? She’s … not here.”
“You know where she is?”
Claire places a hand on her hip and sighs. “You know where she is, and you’re not going to like it, so why are you asking me?”
“She’s with Adrian again?” I take another sip from my beer, finishing half of it in one swallow.
“Yeah, and just a warning, it’s serious. She really likes him, Holden, and she knows about his past as well. Probably more so than you.”
“I’m just looking out for her.”
“You’re being anal and crazy about it. She’s a big girl and knows what she wants.”
“You should try and protect her from him, too.”
She shakes her head. “I’m her friend, not her parent. She’s trying to get away from the stifling environment that you guys have put her through. Adrian. He offers her something better, something that makes her feel alive. I can see it when I look into her face when she talks about him.” Claire sighs and glances around the room. “This is so not my scene.” She glares at me for a second, then shakes her head. “You’re a lost cause, I think.”
Before I can say anything, Claire is heading out of the party, and so I do what any normal guy would do, right? I follow her. “I’m sorry, okay?” I follow her outside, and I catch her hand, stopping her. “I’m really not an asshole. At least not all the time.” I hold onto her arm, and she stares at me. “Forgive me? I’m just drunk, and worried, and I know I need to back the fuck off. I just have always looked after her, and this feels out of control for me, okay?”
“I don’t need to forgive you, Holden.” She pulls out of my grasp, and I watch her as she walks a few feet away. I can’t do it. I can’t let her storm away like that. I am an asshole, and my issues have nothing to do with her.
Rushing toward her, I shove my hands into my jeans, not sure what to say, but knowing I don’t want her to feel like shit because of me. “Can I walk you to your dorm?”
“Don’t worry about it. You don’t even need to stay here with me. I’m happy to walk alone.”
“Nah, I’m not letting you walk alone, not when it’s late and there are assholes who’ll try and fuck with you.”
She chuckles. “You really don’t need to worry about me. I’m sorry that I can’t control Skylar but you know, you really need to allow her to spread her wings, and you know, do her own thing.”
I know what she is saying but it is hard for me to allow that. I remember that asshole who attacked her, and lured her away. Ever since I saw that, I’ve felt protective of her. Skylar has asked me to never say anything, and I don’t know what the hell to do. Adrian isn’t a good guy. I am. In the first couple of days of her arriving at the college, I had honestly thought we could have taken it to the next step, could have been together. It just felt like the thing to do seeing as we’ve known each other for so long, and we’ve always been a facet in each other’s lives.
“I know.”