“I’ve been doing it since I was twelve,” she said. She went to tell him more but stopped.
“I can wait for more. I don’t want you to rush me with the whole story.”
“I don’t try to kill myself. I don’t want to die.”
He blew out a breath. “If we were in the UK, I would have your ass down A & E so fucking fast you wouldn’t even know what hit you.”
“We’re not in England, Edward.”
“I know. We’re in Cape Falls, and right now I don’t think going to a specialist is right for you.”
“Thank you,” she said. “I won’t go anywhere.” She didn’t want to talk to anyone, or tell them what she thought when she did it. She just wanted to live her life.
“Go ahead. Go make dinner and I will clean up this mess.”
Her mess. She didn’t say anything else as she made her way toward the kitchen. When she entered, she looked around to see all the big knives were still in place. He hadn’t tried to hide them. She wasn’t stupid enough to use a knife.
She’d meant what she said to him in his little dungeon. The last thing she wanted to do was to die. She liked living, especially now. Sophie was taken care of, and Isabel got to take care of Edward. Cooking for him, doing his laundry, and taking care of his beautiful home.
Living in a trailer was completely different from living in a beautiful home.
She loved it here more than she loved anything else.
Running her fingers across the granite counter, she made her way toward the fridge. Opening it up, she saw the two juicy steaks waiting for them.
Isabel intended to do everything she could to take care of Edward. He didn’t belong to her, and he never would. She was used to men not wanting her. Still, she could make sure that he was her friend.
She really did like him, and they talked a lot. There were times she was sure he forgot about what she did. It had been a couple of months since she last cut. She never saw it as hurting herself.
It wasn’t pain she sought.
No.
It was feeling.
Chapter Two
Edward didn’t bring it up again, and he kept to his promise. The following day he took her to Control. It was the only BDSM club in town, and it was through his friend, William, that Edward had come to Cape Falls.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” William asked.
They both stared across the main dance-floor toward the main bar where Peter Miller was talking with her.
“I don’t know what is a good idea. This way I know she’s not going to hurt herself.” He couldn’t stand to walk into another room and witness her taking the blade to her body once again.
“I don’t know much about self-harm, but from what I can gather, it can have a variety of reasons behind it. Abuse, cry for attention, a coping mechanism.”
“I don’t know what it is, I only know I want her to stop it.” He felt helpless, and it was an emotion he wasn’t used to.
“You do realize she’s not your problem. She’s not your submissive, or your woman.”
“That’s fucked up right there. I’m not going to turn my back on her.” He stared at Isabel. Her blonde locks were pulled back into a ponytail. She wore a pair of jeans and a long sleeved white shirt. To anyone looking at her, she was like the girl next door. Sweet, charming, and beautiful. He knew that beneath those clothes she had a bandage on one thigh, and the inside of her arms had multiple scars. Some had faded, and others were still new.
Was he doing the right thing? Cleaning the damages, and then pretending it didn’t happen?
Edward didn’t want to be like everyone else in her past. Everyone else just walked away, leaving her. He was the guy who walked away, and he didn’t want to be that way anymore. When he looked at Isabel, he wanted to be her everything. He could help her. He knew it deep in his damn soul.
“I get it. You’ve got to understand, Edward, I’m used to you walking away and not giving a shit. You’re that guy.”