Chapter One
Three years from His to Control
Peter Miller stared at the hard stone planted in the graveyard. The name, date, and relevant details were lost on him as he simply looked at the stone. All around him people lay buried beneath the earth where at one time they’d been in the prime of their life. What had happened to them all? When they were alive did they experience love? Was their love reciprocated?
He had all these questions about people he didn’t know, and yet there were more pressing issues to deal with in his own life. Control, the exclusive BDSM club, was thriving even though the residents had tried to shut it down. He worked as a Dom there and had trained many subs in the last few years.
No matter how many women he trained there was still a void inside him. He was twenty-eight years old, and he’d achieved next to nothing in his life. For the past ten years he’d been in love with a woman who was married to another man. That same man had almost died, and instead of taking his shot, he’d not wanted to. His friendship with Laura was different. Something wasn’t the same, and he didn’t know what it was. Staring at the gravestone he saw the person who’d passed had once been a son, husband, and a brother. Peter was no such thing. His parents had disowned him for being friends with Laura and the rest of the Cape Falls outcasts.
The only things he’d achieved in the last few years were moving out of the small apartment and into a house near Control. The salary he was paid for working at the club kept him in a good lifestyle. Then he’d become a good Dom. He took care of his women and made sure they got everything he needed.
There’s nothing for you here.
“This place is fucking morbid. Why do you always come here?” Edward Banner asked.
Edward was one of the men who worked at Control. He was close friends with the owner, William, and had travelled from England to live in Cape Falls. Peter still couldn’t believe Edward had moved to Cape Falls. The town was a nightmare.
“I invited you because you needed to get out of the club. Be respectful or leave,” Peter said, looking at the gravestone.
“Fine, I’d rather be here, in a cemetery, than dealing with Daisy and the twins. I remember a time when William wouldn’t have kids, and now he’s got two sets of twins running amok.” Edward shook his head. “It’s totally not right.”
Peter laughed. In the last three years Daisy had become pregnant twice, and both times she’d given birth to twins. The first set was twin boys, which William had been happy about. The next two were girls, and their father had become over-protective overnight and they hadn’t even gone to play school. Peter felt for the men who’d come in twenty years wanting to date William’s twin girls.
“He doesn’t let them near the club, Edward. What’s your problem?” Peter loved children. Over the last three years he’d spent plenty of time with Laura’s kids.
Thinking about Laura made pain spike through his heart but not in the usual, yearning, kind of way. Something was different, and he hated not knowing what it was.
“I don’t want kids. I hate kids, but Daisy’s kids are always around and I find myself wanting something I’d given up on a long time ago.”
Peter glanced up at his friend. “You’re not serious.”
“You’re not the only guy who tries to avoid the things that make you want something,” Edward said.
Peter didn’t like how accurate the older man was.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Peter turned away from the gravestone and started toward another one.
“I know a lot more than you think.” Edward followed behind him. “You avoid any romantic attachment because you’re still yearning for Laura, Dean’s wife. I’ve heard everything. The locals of Cape Falls love to talk. Although, I’m not seeing the long lost yearning look on your face anymore. Maybe you’ve moved on?”
Spinning around Peter glared at him. “Then explain it to me if you’re such an expert.”
Edward rested his hands on his hips. “Dean Riley was diagnosed with testicular cancer three years ago. It was in the early stages, and they caught it. He gets regular check-ups and is now in the peak of health.”
Peter felt the tears spring to his eyes at the remembered pain on Laura’s face. Dean and Laura had been through a lot in the last three years.
“Dean gave you the chance to win his woman. He didn’t know how severe the cancer was and wanted you to be the man to take his place, but you wouldn’t do it. You were in love with a woman you could never have. Then out of the blue you got a chance, and you didn’t take it at all.”
“That has nothing to do with avoiding, Edward. You’ve just stated some facts.”
“I’ve never seen you attempt to date other women. You keep women, even your subs, at a distance. No one can get close to you. Your friends are the only people you allow close to you, nothing else and no one else.”
Peter shrugged. “What more is there to life? I can’t have the woman I love, and I don’t think it’s fair letting another woman get close. It would be unfair of me to let another woman think they’ve got a chance with me.”
Edward stared at him. “Do you even love Laura?”
“What?”
“You’ve been in love with her for ten years, and you’ve never really been close to her. Are you sure you’re actually in love with her?” Edward asked.
“I’m not going to talk with you about this.” Peter headed out of the cemetery with Edward following behind him. He’d walked the entire distance from the club to the cemetery near town.
“Why not? It’s not like I’m on Dean’s side. I imagine everyone knows you’re in love but see Dean and Laura together, so they don’t really care.”
“And you’re saying you care?” Peter asked, amazed. He kept walking, needing the fresh air to keep him sane.
“I’m your friend. Of course I care.”
Peter stopped. “I appreciate your caring, I really do, but I can’t handle this right now.”
Edward reached out, touching his arm. “You can talk to me. When the time is right, you can talk to me no matter what.”
Staring at his hand, Peter nodded. “Thanks.”
“I better get back to the club. Take care, and I’ll see you tonight.”
It was Saturday night, and it was always busy on the weekends. “You certainly will be seeing me.” Peter smiled and watched the other man walk away before heading into town. He passed several people who stared at him. Some whispered behind their palms.
He didn’t care.
Like every other Saturday he went to the library, going straight to the back to grab a book off the shelves. He loved his peace and quiet, but at the library he got to see people while he was doing it. Grabbing a book from the shelf, he sat down and flipped open the p
age.
“You’re here again?” Rose Slater asked.
He looked up to see the girl who stocked the shelves. Rose was a beautiful woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. He’d seen her around town and the library many times. She was nineteen and hadn’t been allowed to go to college. Her family wouldn’t let her leave Cape Falls.
Yes, Rose Slater was his only piece of heaven away from the club and all his troubles.