“Okay,” I say, only partly so I get the chance to plant the baggy. He holds out his elbow and I hook my arm into his as we walk outside together. Stupidly the baggy is in the pocket I can’t access with my arm intertwined with his like this.
It’s very hard to see him as the bad guy when he is acting so nice to me. I have to remind myself about what his family has done to mine and stop thinking about how lovely it feels to walk so close to him.
As promised, he takes me on a walk, showing me the beautiful garden. We talk about school and the upcoming summer break as we admire the beauty of the unique flowers and warm light coming from the night sky. I hate to admit it to myself, but I’m actually having a good time. Why is he being so nice to me?
Doubt creeps up my spine and settles in the nape of my neck, giving me a subtle headache. I don’t think I can do this. Maybe I just go back home and tell my dad I couldn’t get to him.
“You okay?” Sullivan suddenly stops.
“Yes, sorry just lost in thought.”
“Yeah? Me too.”
“What are you thinking about?” I ask curiously. I shouldn’t care what he’s thinking about I’m not here to ask questions or get closer to him.
“Mostly about kissing you.”
My heart freezes inside my chest. Did he just say kissing? Kissing me? I stare at his stupidly handsome face waiting for him to tell me that he was kidding, that it’s a joke, but he never does. Instead, he continues talking.
“Would that be okay? If I kiss you, I mean? I know our parents hate each other, and we shouldn’t care about each other either, but it’s only a kiss.” His question hangs in the air for a moment, and I swallow down my nervous anxiety, knowing I’m going to say yes. I don’t think I want to kiss him, definitely not, but this is my chance to get close enough to plant the bag.
“Okay…. A kiss… A kiss would be okay, I mean,” I whisper right before he brushes a strand of hair from my face. His thumb brushing against my cheek leaving my skin tingling beneath his touch. He leans in, eyes open wide, as if he doesn’t want to miss the chance to see my face when our lips touch.
Then our lips touch, pressing together and my eyes close on their own. Tingles of warmth ripple through me. Everything around us fades out as if we are the only two people in the world. All I feel are his soft, full lips against mine. The kiss is gentle, heart-warming, and I lean into him while our lips melt into each other.
I give myself this one second to forget everything, the reason I am here and the reason I should hate him. Butterflies flutter around inside my stomach igniting a deep tremble in my core. A warmth seeps into my bones, melting me like an ice cream cone sitting in the afternoon sun. I want to get lost in that feeling, feel nothing else beside it, but my father’s voice rings in my ears right then. I need to remember what his family has done, the pain they’ve caused.
With a heavy heart and an unsteady hand, I grab the small plastic bag from my pocket and slip it into his before I pull away breaking the kiss.
My first kiss.
The rattling of keys outside the door drags me back to reality. The lock clicks and the door opens a moment later. The light flicks on, blinding me in the process.
“What the hell, Harlow?”
I let my eyes adjust for a moment before getting out of bed and walking over to my friend. “I’m sorry, Shelby,” I say as I throw my arms around her and bury my face in her thick blonde hair. “I’m really sorry I yelled at you. You didn’t know. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“Didn’t know what?” she asks, while wrapping her own arms around me. “Tell me what’s going on, please.”
“Okay.” Letting go of her, I grab her hand and lead her to my bed. We sit down together and I wrap the blanket around myself before starting to explain the whole thing. I swore to my parents I would never tell anyone, but they don’t control me anymore. So, I tell Shelby about the past, about what happened, and about what I’ve done.
I tell her about my greatest shame while hoping that she can still look at me the same way after. Hoping that I’m not losing my best friend like I’ve lost everything else in my life.
Chapter Three
When I open my eyes on the first day of school, I feel better than I thought I would. It’s been two days since my encounter with the Bishops and since I spilled the beans about everything to Shelby. She was shocked about the whole thing, but besides that took it pretty well. She didn’t hate me like I thought she would and I’m more thankful than ever to have her as my friend. She promised to never say a word about any of it.