Beeper was my parents’ latest rescue dog. She was a mix of breeds—I got them the DNA test for Christmas the p
revious year—that had been scrambled together and came out looking like a large, brown Brillo pad with feet. The Brillo pad appeared in the doorway and trotted inside.
Waylon sat up and gave an appreciative “woof.”
“This is Waylon. He’s not mine. He belongs to my…um. Neighbor? Hey, do you guys want to get out of here and go for breakfast or lunch or just leave for any reason at all?”
Waylon hopped off the couch and booped noses with Beeper. Beeper let out a high-pitched yap, and the two of them began to zoom around the minuscule first floor.
“Daisy, baby, what the fuck are you doing down there?”
I watched in horror as bare feet attached to naked, muscular legs appeared on the stairs. Mom and I froze to the spot as boxer briefs—thank God for penis-covering miracles—came into view.
Dad, moving quickly for a big guy, put himself between us and the approaching boxer briefs.
“State your business,” Dad shouted at Knox’s bare torso.
“Wow, wow, wow,” Mom whispered.
She wasn’t wrong. The man was freaking spectacular.
Waylon and Beeper chose that moment to take their zoomies up the stairs.
“Daze, you wanna explain what’s goin’ on?” Knox drawled as he sidestepped the canine catastrophe.
I ducked under Dad’s arm and moved to stand between my parents and my boss…er, neighbor? One-time sex partner?
“Uh. Okay. So…I really wish I would have had more coffee.”
“Are those tattoos real? How many times a week do you go to the gym?” Mom asked, peering under Dad’s armpit.
“What the hell is goin’ on?” Dad rumbled.
“Oh, Lou. So old-fashioned,” Mom said, giving him an affectionate pat on the backside before walking up to Knox and hugging him.
“Mom!”
Knox stood there woodenly clearly in shock.
“Welcome to the family,” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“Oh my God. I’m going to die of embarrassment,” I decided.
Knox patted my mother awkwardly on the back. “Uh. Thanks?”
She released him and then grabbed me by the shoulders. “We were so worried about you, sweetheart. It wasn’t like you to just up and leave your own wedding like that. Not that we ever liked Warner that much anyway.”
“Always thought he was a pretentious ass,” Dad cut in.
“I thought maybe you were depressed,” Mom continued. “But now it all makes sense! You fell in love with someone else and couldn’t go through with a sham of a marriage. Isn’t that wonderful, Lou?”
“I need coffee,” Knox muttered and headed for the kitchen.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Dad demanded, still not looking very pleased.
“Naomi,” Knox called from the coffeepot. “Pants?”
I winced. “Under the sink.”