When I lost you, I wondered who you could’ve been. I wondered who you would have looked like. I kept it all inside that day. My heart was breaking for your daddy, the only man I have ever loved and, a part of me died forever. I was alone, watching you slowly come out of me like a river of blood and I could do nothing but watch you go to heaven. I will always love you and never forget you.
Until we meet again, my little angel,
Love, Mommy
Luciana Sincere
Tears blur my eyes like a dam bursting, streaming down my chin. She was pregnant. She was pregnant with my baby. Turning the page, I see the sonogram picture and realize the date she had it taken was the same day she saw me in the pool house with Gloria. My heart clenches and my vision blacks in and out, remembering how she ran away.
She was going to tell me, and I caused her so much pain our baby couldn’t survive it.
She went through it without me.
The next page has the birthday month of June. It reads,Could have been baby’s first birthday.
Like a wounded animal, I bawl, sobs racking my body. I lay the book down and grip my hair in frustration, roaring like a lion.
The door of my room bursts open and Leo and Colton barge inside.
Colton is the first to say something. “What the fuck is going on, Mason?”
I stand in a fit of rage and grief. “She lost the baby because of me. I hurt her. I did that.” I point at myself with hot tears rolling down my chest. “I’m a piece of shit. I deserve her hate. Every bit.”
Leo grabs the book on the bed and opens it. He scans the book, reading and flipping through the pages. He passes it to Colton and wraps his arms around me in a brotherly hug.
“Chill, man. I get it. You will talk to her and plead for her to forgive you.”
Shaking my head, I know that is impossible. There is no way she will ever see me as anything but a monster.
“She has been dealing with it all by herself. I’ve treated her so badly. I abandoned her. How could I not see it? I fucking hate myself.”
Colton closes the book and places it softly on the nightstand. He sniffs and I stay silent. His face contorts in a grimace as he takes a couple steps to my bed.
He looks at me with red eyes. I have never seen Colton get emotional. “I hate myself and it’s not even my baby or my girl. I was there, and I didn’t stop her when you told me she walked in and bolted. I need you to own it and take responsibility for the hurt you have caused Luciana. Because right now, I want to kick your fucking ass. What you did was fucked up, but that…” He points to the book. “There are no words to describe what you have done to her.” He walks out of my bedroom and slams the door.
Leo pinches his nose. “Fuck, she wasn’t kidding,” he mutters.
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“She said to be here for you after she left. I get it now.”
Wiping the tears that have streamed down my face with my arm, I look up at Leo. “I’m going to tell Aiden about Lucy and me. I’m going to come clean and tell him everything and what my plan is for Lucy.”
Leo sighs. “What are talking about,cabron?”
“I’m going to get Lucy back and I don’t give a fuck who stands in my way. She’s mine. I will spend every second of my life making sure she knows it.”
Leo leans against the wall facing me as I sit on my bed, broken by what I just learned. Lucy lost our baby, and she hid her pain with lies so no one would find out. I’m no good for her but I want to be. I want to be what she wants. I want to be what she deserves.
“I’ll help you, but I am going to tell you it will not be easy to get her back to be more than just your friend. Her giving you that book with her secret is her telling you she is letting go. She is moving past the hurt and the pain.”
“How would you know?”
He pushes off the wall and opens the door. Before he steps into the hallway, he pauses and turns around. “Because it is what I would do if I were in the same situation. Be prepared,hermano. Lucy is probably worse than Aiden.” His lips form a grim line. “She is going to push the limit and you’re not going to like it. Keep that in mind.” He walks out, and I lie in bed, mourning the loss of our baby.
Now, I can understand why she hated me. After everything, she still offered me her friendship.
Chapter Twenty-Two