He laughs. He’s facing me now, and he draws one index finger from the bridge to the tip of my nose. “I don’t think of myself as a virgin because I’ve done other stuff . . . it’s just that intercourse, um—well, it was a line I could never cross with anyone.” He pauses, cupping the back of his neck, his other arm now wrapped around his knees. “I’m not the sex god our P.R. team proclaims me to be. Most of that is Roger playing up my image for press purposes.”
“Oh.” I don’t know what to say. “But the rumors—”
He laughs. “The only truth to those rumors is the one about my tongue. There are worse things than having oral make up the biggest part of your sex life.”
Heat creeps up my neck and settles on my cheeks. I can certainly attest to that. All the times Karl ate me out were unlike anything in this world.
“But you had Sandy, and that redhead who showed up . . .”
He’s shaking his head before I finish my thought. “Ah, Sandy, she was there to . . . relieve some of the pressure, but I didn’t have intercourse with her. As for Scarlet, I just needed you to stop coming on to me. I thought it’d push you away to hear us, but we didn’t do anything of a sexual nature. I swear.”
Only one word comes to mind at his revelations. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why haven’t you had sex if you’ve done everything else?”
“You sure you want to hear all the details?”
I nod.
“Fine. You once accused me of being a romantic, remember?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe that’s it.”
“Is it?”
Karl circles his finger on the top of my hand. “No. I mean, I am a little. By the time I made it, when I joined the band, and all the women were flinging themselves at me . . . they didn’t wantme. You understand?”
I shake my head.
“Every one of them wanted something, but not a one had feelings for me. They went to bed with me for bragging rights, to be photographed with me, or expecting expensive gifts and dinners. When I got my sign-on check, the first thing I did was invest in an apartment and a sports car. I’d watch how their eyes sparkled when they saw the swanky place and expensive car, but they wouldn’t light up like that when they looked atme. That . . . hurt. And the ones who were in it purely for my body, they were after what you were after. The legend of the sex god, but no interest in me as a person. Make sense?”
“Oh, Karl,” I say and squeeze his arm tightly to me. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way.”
“I know, doll.” He kisses the top of my head. “But that’s why I wanted you to love the first person you slept with. I know first-hand what an empty feeling it is to wake up in the morning, not caring one iota for the person next to you. I was looking for the one, my girl, but every time I woke up with a stranger, I disappointed myself just a little bit more. Even if we weren’t having intercourse, we were doing everything else, and I still felt empty. So I promised myself I’d keep waiting, to find the one woman who could truly love me back, the way I wanted to love her.”
“But the press continued to publish stories about your sexcapades,” I argue, trying to fit the pieces together.
“Ah, that. That’s all Roger. Most of us in the band don’t care what he does with our public image. Whatever he’s doing is working to keep people interested in us, so we let him say what he wants.”
Then it finally clicks. He never slept with the redhead. With Scarlett. He hasn’t been with anyone since we’ve known each other. The thought makes me smile more than I’d like to admit. And then it fades. Has he been with anyone since I left?
“So just to be clear, nothing happened with Scarlett?”
“You heard us pretending. I wanted to get you to stop trying to tempt me because I couldn’t take one more day without being inside of you, and I knew I’d be weak if you kept it up. But it’s all I thought about, Lola. Taking you. Everything—anything you wanted to give me. Selfishly, I wanted it all.”
“Oh,” I say, and I am at a loss for words for a long moment.
I let my head fall to his shoulder again as I process this information, and this time, his cheek rests on top of my head tenderly, our bodies huddled closely together. This moment is far more intimate than any we have shared so far, and we’re fully clothed.
“Have you been with anyone since, since . . .” I say finally.
I feel him shake his head. “No. I’ve kept that promise I made myself.”
“You have?”