He’s worried about hurting me? I take a moment to consider that. “You won’t hurt me.”
He shakes his head, then smiles sexily. “I have many filthy ideas . . . Oh, Valentina, the things I will do to you . . . don’t worry—”
“No, Rory. I—um—I mean, you can do those things too, but I want you to make love to me—”
“Valentina, I can’t hurt you. I won’t do it.”
“Why do you think you’ll hurt me?”
“You are all scarred inside from radiation. It’s too soon.”
I cock my head to the side to study him. He thinks I can’t take his massive size. I grab onto his shoulders for support.
When I first concluded treatment, I told Dr. Ramirez my sexual life was a priority to me. She immediately got me started on dilator therapy to stretch me. The first and smallest dilator almost had me quit, but I pushed on. Months passed, and I kept with my therapy until I graduated to a larger dilator, then a larger one, until Dr. Ramirez suggested I graduate to a full-size vibrator.
Rory knows nothing of this. He was no longer a part of my life during that time post-treatment.
“You won’t hurt me, Rory,” I plead with him.
“We are not having penetrative sex, Valentina. I won’t hurt you. I can’t do that.”
“Rory—”
“No. We can eventually get there. For now, there are plenty of things we can do to each other.” He pulls me to him and whispers in my ear, “I promise I’ll please you.”
It’s hard to pull away, but I do. “Will you just listen to me for one second.”
Rory’s lips disappear into a thin line, but he nods.
My face bursts into flames at having to discuss this at the worst of possible times, but it has to be done.
“I started dilator therapy as soon as treatment wrapped up.”
Rory winces. “That sounds painful.”
“It was at first. But that’s what the therapy is for. I’ve kept up with it, Rory. I’m fairly certain I can take you.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t risk hurting you. Can you see my point of view here?”
“So long as we use plenty of lube, I’ll be fine.”
“No—”
“Rory, I want you. Do you want me?”
“I do, but—”
“Then can we at least try?”
He kisses me again, long and deep, leaving me breathless, and I forget what we are even arguing about for a moment.
“You’re killing me, woman.”
I grin at him.
“Fine,” he says. “But only on one condition.”
“Okay, what’s the condition?”