“Kate… you look absolutely beautiful. Happy birthday, angel.” Ian pulls me into an embrace. He pulls me tight into his body. This is a different hug from him, almost like there are emotions to it. He’s also wearing my favorite cologne on him. I love the fresh scent; he smells so good. Not wanting to get hung up on Ian again, I give him a halfhearted hug and a pat on the back like you would a friend. Then pull away.
“Ian, thank you for coming. I hope you all have a great time.” I take a deep breath, “now if you’ll excuse me, I have guests to greet.” My head is pounding. I leave to get some fresh air.
As the night wears on, my head continues to pound, exhaustion takes over my body, and I feel lightheaded. The pain that first started behind my eyes has now spread to my entire head. The noise and lights are bothering me, and I feel like I might get sick. I’ve had migraines since I can remember, but this feels different.
“Mom,” I tug on her arm.
“Oh sugar, you look white as a ghost.” She presses the back of her hand to my forehead.
“Yeah, the headache has turned into a migraine, and it’s getting bad.” I close my eyes and rub my temples. “I’m going home to take some medicine and soak in the tub.”
“Okay, I’ll go with you.” She loops her arm into mine.
“No, mom. You stay here. Have fun. I just need some quiet and rest.” I pull my arm away from her. She looks disappointed. I’m not too sure if it’s because I’m not feeling well, or that I’m leaving my party early, or that I just want to be alone.
“Okay, sugar. If you need me, I will be there in less than a minute, okay?” She holds my hand and brushes the hair out of my face with her other hand.
I walk through the back door of my house and brace myself against the wall with one hand as another sharp pain shoots through my head, radiating down my spine. Slowly I breathe in and out until the pain subsides enough for me to move again. For a moment, I consider mindlinking my mom, but I decide against it. She worked so hard putting the party together for me. She deserves to have fun. After all, I’m her last pup, no more big bashes. My mom loves to party. How could I deny her this? Besides, I know I won’t be any fun after I take my medication.
Making my way up the stairs, I have to stop and rest halfway up. Normally I can run up the stairs in less than a minute, but today it feels like there are a hundred miles of stairs to climb. Once I reach my bathroom, I plug the tub and turn the water on. Then I brace myself against the bathroom sink as another wave of pain hits my head and neck. I breathe through the pain, then look into the mirror. Wow, mom was right. I am as white as a ghost. I study my face and see that dark circles have formed under each eye; it looks like someone punched me in both eyes. I walk into my room and take off all my jewelry, carefully placing it on top of my chest of drawers. I admire my new tennis bracelet from my parents. It sparkles in the light and is so magnificent. My mom has several tennis bracelets that I’ve always admired, and now I have one of my very own. I take off my dress and toss it on my bed. I remove my panties and bra and toss them into the hamper.
As I sink into the tub, I remember I hadn’t taken my medicine yet. I know I should probably get out of the tub and go downstairs and take it, but the hot water feels so good against my skin. With a rolled-up wash cloth supporting my neck, I lay back in the tub. I’m relaxing and the tension in my head seems to go away. I close my eyes and feel myself drifting to sleep.
“Hey!” A woman’s voice shouts. I open my eyes and sit up.Did I just imagine that?I sit quietly, looking out the opened bathroom door. Nothing… just darkness and silence.
“Mom?” I call out, “I’m in the tub.” Nothing. I chalk up hearing the woman shout hey as my subconscious not wanting me to fall asleep in the bathtub.
Laying back, I breathe, trying to relax again. Suddenly I’m hit with another wave of pain, only this time the pain shoots through my head, down my neck, into my spine, and down my legs. I groan out in pain and pull myself up from the water. One hand is flat against the cold tile of the bathroom wall, the other hand is holding on to the side of the tub. I breathe in and out until the pain releases its hold on my head. I need to get out of the tub and downstairs to take my medicine. The pain has never felt like this before, but then again, I’ve never let a migraine go unchecked for so long.
I bend my knees and try to stand when another wave of pain hits. If I thought the last round was bad, this one is ten times worse. The pain quickly takes over my entire body and I slip, falling backwards. I catch myself on the wall and by the side of the tub. Every muscle in my body goes completely stiff and I can’t move. My body feels like one big muscle cramp. There are ripples in the water caused by my body shaking. I’m not in control of my body, like some other force is at work here. Something is blocking me every time I attempt to mindlink my mom. It’s like I’m hitting a brick wall every time.
By the time the pain passes, and I can move my limbs again, the water is cold. I use my toe to pull the plug out of the drain. I’m not too sure what happened, but I don’t want to be in a tub full of water if it happens again. Feeling the need to get out of the tub, I try to stand, but my legs are too weak. I pull myself up on the side of the tub, then bend forward and let gravity do the rest. I slide out of the tub, landing on the floor mat in front of the tub. Water splashes out with me and now covers the entire floor. I rest on the floor mat for a few minutes. Getting out of the tub took so much out of me, and my energy is completely drained. Before I can regain my strength, I’m hit with another wave of excruciating pain throughout my entire body. Again, my muscles stiffen, and I can’t move, completely frozen in place. I whimper as tears roll down my face. I don’t know what is happening to me, but I just want it to stop. As I’m laying naked and cold on the bathroom floor, I’m hoping that someone will come home. Right now, I need my mom more than anything.
When the pain releases me, I pull myself up and sit on the toilet seat. I grab a towel and wrap it around my cold, wet body. I’m out of breath and my body aches from all the cramping. Something inside my head is continuing to block me from mindlinking my mom.What the hell is going on?I need to get to my mom. I slowly stand, keeping the towel tight around my body. Moving out of the bathroom down the hall, I brace myself on the walls. My body is so weak.
When I get to the stairs, I stand there and stare down. How am I supposed to get down the stairs in my weakened state? What if my muscles freeze up again and I fall to my death? I need help and can’t wait in here until someone comes home. Remembering how Kelsey and I used to slide down the stairs as pups, I decide that is my best option. If my muscles freeze up again, I’ll be on my bottom and can brace myself. I sit on the top step and breathe, then slide my bottom to the next step. Moving my feet a couple of steps below me and use them to pull myself down to the next step. I continue doing this until I reach the bottom of the staircase. Grateful that my body didn’t freeze up again.
Slowly, I make my way out the back door and walk in the packhouse’s direction when I’m hit with another wave of pain. I drop to my knees and roll to my side as my body freezes and contorts itself. I scream out in pain, but I don’t hear any sound coming from my lips… just the sound of air escaping my lungs.
“Woods!” A woman’s voice shouts. The same voice I heard while I was in the tub.
Suddenly, I feel my body move on its own.What the hell?I’m on my knees with my forehead resting on the ground. I stand and involuntarily move towards the tree line.No! I need to go get my mom.I fight my body, stopping myself from moving, causing another wave of pain to take over my body. I collapse to my knees again and drift off into darkness.
When I wake up, I’m walking and can see the tree line just ahead. My body moves on its own. I feel like I’m watching a movie or something. My vision is blurred, and my hearing is dull. It feels like I’m underwater. The world around me looks like it’s moving in a wave pattern. It feels like there is cotton in my ears. I’m having a hard time hearing.Did I slip and drown in the tub? Am I dead?Just inside the tree line, I try to stop moving forward and am met with horrendous pain that forces me down to the ground. I fall, hitting the ground hard. My body contorts into different positions, and I can hear the same woman’s voice screaming in pain. I drift back into the darkness.
When I wake up, I’m crawling on all fours with my belly rubbing against the cold, wet ground. I watch as my fingernails dig into the soft soil of the forest floor, and my hands pull my body forward.
“Moon,” I hear the woman’s voice say. Her voice is softer than before, she sounds weak.
I finally make it to a clearing in the forest where the strongest light from the full moon above is. My body is exhausted, and I collapse into the center of the clearing, rolling onto my back. Facing the moon, I can’t help but to wonder if I’m dying and my body wanted to see the glory of the full moon just one more time. As I look at the moon, I fade into darkness.
When I wake up, I can’t see anything. I raise my hand to my face and nothing. There is no light or sound, just darkness and nothingness. I hear whimpering and crying. I’m not alone.
“Hello?” I call out. My voice echoes. “Who’s there?” I wait for a response. “What is your name?”
“Sasha,” a woman’s voice whispers.
“Hi Sasha, I’m Kate. Do you know where we are?” I turn my head, but all I see is black.