She laughed, the musical sound of her chuckle filling the interior of the motor. “You will never change, will you?”
“Why should I? The greatest crime I ever committed cost me the only thing I cared about. I have no reason to change… or do I?”
“No, you don’t. Even were you to win back that which you held most valuable, would not that value diminish if it demanded you change?”
“Would you care to bastardize Shakespeare a little more, m’lady?” Her snort was all the answer he needed. Traffic began to thin as they left the city behind. The motorway expanded, allowing them to accelerate.
“Just saying, you have to be you. The same way I have to be me. Sometimes, I forget who I used to be, who I wanted to be. There is only what I’ve become.”
That answer troubled him more than her earlier one. “Do you truly believe you weren’t being yourself? When we were together?”
The time it took her to answer the question disturbed him. She sighed and shook her head. “Sometimes, I think that was the only time I was me. Remember, our relationship was forbidden. For two years, I wanted to catch your eye, but you were so professional. You always kept me at arm’s length. Even when you insisted that I practice my seduction technique over and over again. It never seemed to move you.”
“That’s because the seduction technique wasn’t yours. It was the role you played. You have never had to play a part to get my interest. You had that from the day I met you.” He hadn’t meant to tell her that part, and he scowled at her. The smug smile she wore told him exactly what she’d been doing. She lulled him, played him like a fiddle, until she’d gotten the answer she wanted to hear.
“So, pray tell then, sir, why did you hold out for so long? Why did you wait until that assignment in Tokyo? Why there?”
“Because I was tired of waiting. I told myself you were too young at first, then I told myself I was your training officer. Then I told myself I didn’t want you to stay.” All true, but her silence cut at him. “I wanted you to have a real life, Addy. MI6 takes everything from you, will bleed you dry until you have given everything you have. Look at us now. We’re exactly where I didn’t want us to be. But by your twenty-first birthday and the Tokyo assignment, it had become clear.” Everything had become clear.
“I would never leave. I loved the work I did. I loved protecting our country. I loved being the person they could send in to get what they needed, and often achieve a goal without bloodshed. I like averting disasters before they occurred. When diplomacy failed, it was my job to make sure the long-term ramifications were negated. Who wouldn’t love that job?” She startled him, because she placed a hand on his leg. So far, he had allowed her to control their touching, at least since he’d stolen the few kisses he wanted on the plane. “I liked working with you. You always seemed to anticipate, you knew what I needed before I knew I needed it. I never had an ounce of fear when I walked into one of those ops, because I knew you were out there. I knew you would get me out.” She squeezed his leg. “It’s why I sent you the message, Sam, because even after everything that happened, and even though I was as angry as I was, both after what happened with Clark and in Thailand—I knew you’d come for me.”
Pride flooded him, pride and pleasure. “Well, I’m here now. What more would you have of me, m’lady?”
“I would have you stop saying m’lady.”
So prim in her reprimanding.
“As you wish, Addy.” He grinned. “Though m’lady does keep me at more of an emotional distance and might serve you better in the long run.”
“Only if my plan in the long run is to leave you behind.”
It wasn’t? He said nothing, not daring to challenge that hope.
“Sam, I can’t read you in. I’d like too, but it’s not my place. And maybe when this is done, after we bag the Earl, I might have to go for a bit. But it won’t be goodbye.”
He kept his grip firm on the steering wheel.
“If you’re willing, I will find you again. Without the gun this time.”
“I don’t mind the gun,” he told her quickly. “I’ll bring my own, if you’d like.”
“There’s a motel up this way.” She pointed to a sign.
It was a decent enough establishment, and it would do. “One room or two?”
“Two, only as long as it has an adjoining door.”
He could work with that. He accelerated. The sooner they got to the motel, the sooner they could make this reunion official.
“Sam?”
“Yes, Addy?” He barely caught himself from saying m’lady again.
“You are going to follow me, aren’t you?”
“Absolutely.” Now that he had her back, he didn’t care where she went. She was not getting away from him again.
“Clark’s going to love this.”