Weird how well they all worked together. Even the tension seemed to dial down some. When they convened in the lodge’s living room, the fire and heater had both managed to peel away the frosty chill in the air. Settling on the rug in front of the fire, they formed a triangle, and while the thought held appeal, she doubted either man would go for it.
Frowning, she cradled her coffee mug in her hands. “Where do we start?” Then registering the question, she pinned Brad with a look. “If you say naked, I’ll punch you.”
“Hey, one of the rules is honesty, and I honestly like you naked.” The charm, the ease with which his smile still eased the ragged knots in her soul, fascinated her.
“I think we both agree on liking you naked. That said, let’s start at the beginning.”Clever, calm Gabriel keeping them focused on the target. “I think we start with what we want.”
“What we want?”What does he mean?“Before? Since?”
“I mean, what do we want to accomplish. Since it’s my idea, I’ll say it—I want you happy,” he told her. “Not settling, not coping, not playing a part. I want you really happy. I want you to know you always have a home that isn’t a place or something that can be taken away from you. I don’t want you running away on a mission to play a part because you hate who and where you are.”
The last words cut. Not because she didn’t believe him, but because his assessment was accurate. Hadn’t she just asked Chrome for a mission? Any mission to get out of having to deal with the dream turned nightmare?
“What about you? What do you want for you?” She licked her lips.
“I just want to be a part of that life.” He made it sound so simple. “I want to be a part of what makes up your home. I want to be there when you come home, go with you on the missions…I wantyou.”
Simple. Elegant. God, if only their lives were that easy…
Brad stretched his arm, the slow careful motion reminding her of his stitches. “I’m not so philanthropic. I want you, period. I don’t care how or with who.” The last part came out a growl. “I don’t even mind the spook. He actually cares about you. Not the team, not the mission, not saving the rest of the fucking world, just you. It’s the only reason I didn’t kill him when they brought him in for you.”
“You’re too kind.” Snark aside, Gabriel and Brad stared at each other like two predators sizing their opposition.
“I am too kind. I couldn’t do anything more than watch her blend you into her life. Fucking you? That didn’t bother me.” Despite the flippancy, she didn’t hear a shred of truth in the last sentence.
“That’s a lie.” Gabriel called him on it before she could. “Rule number one, no bullshit. It bothered you because you weren’t there, you were outside watching. So, voyeurism isn’t totally your thing.”
“Fine, it bothered me.” Canting his head, Brad glanced at her. “Voyeurism is fine if she knows I’m watching. If she knows it could and will be my hands, my lips, and my cock giving her the same pleasure. But you didn’t know.”
“No, I didn’t.” The guilt of betrayal soured on her tongue. “Every single fucking time you watched me, you could have told me. Instead, youdidn’t.”
“I wanted to tell you. I can never give you the time back. I can never open the door so you can see the world the way it was for me. If you think for a moment of that torture I endured—three years of separation, watching you from afar, only able to help you if you were truly in danger—and not able to touch you? No. I’ve been in hell, babe. I’ve been in hell since I woke up. Every minute of every day has been spent with one goal.” His intensity was like a wall of heat rolling over her. “Every fucking second has been about being right here with you. Hell, you being pissed? You yelling at me? Want to take a shot? Knock the shit out of me? Do it. It will be better than having my guts ripped out watching you move on without me.”
Sachi curled her hand into a fist, digging her nails into her palm to hide the quaking his declaration caused. Gabriel seemed no less affected, his troubled frown one of almost empathy.
“I waited, I watched, I sucked it up—so I could behere.” As though he’d run out of words, he simply stopped and blew out a breath.
Aching for him, she squeezed her fists harder. She’d found John again, and then later she’d found Gabriel. “Were you in Vegas?”
He shook his head, hell in his eyes. “No. Titanium sent me to motherfucking Russia. I didn’t even know you’d gotten a mission until the day of the explosion. I’d been back at base maybe two hours when the call came in. Chrome and Steele left, leading the others on base at the time. Some of the Ghosts went separately. Tin was on site. He did what he could. He was the one who called and said they’d found you.”
The strangest thing happened. Gabriel reached over and clasped Brad’s shoulder. “We got her out, and I had to watch them disappear with her.” Kinship sparked, brief but very real. “I didn’t know at that point if I’d ever see her again. I hear you…”
“Thanks. Anyway, there you have it. We got screwed, Sachi. We all did. We can blame Titanium. I know I do. We can blame Red Wolf, because he’s sure as shit guilty. You can blame me, because no matter how hard I fought, I still let you down. I can’t take it back. I can’t make it go away. I can only be here, right now—willing and able to be with you, even share you—if you’ll have me.”
Silence stretched taut between them after the erotic offer, and Sachi made no mistake, it had been an offer. How would that even work between the three of them? And Gabriel?
“Have you two ever done a ménage before?” Apparently it was a night for Gabriel to stun her. She drained her coffee and suddenly wished it was something harder. Like liquor.
Or maybe just some good, old-fashioned moonshine.
“Yes,” she answered, and her voice hoarsened. “Usually with other women.”
Brad’s expression softened. “I didn’t trust other guys with you. Women, you were more likely to say yes about.”
Heat swept through her at the tenderness in his eyes. “You never asked me about other guys.”
“Not a chance in hell,” he said. “Never found one good enough for you. I didn’t this time…you did.”