“No,” he said, focusing on his breathing to bring his respiration down. “I’ve kept my eye out. To be blunt, I haven’t seen any of them.”
Hands on her hips, she kept a fast walk going. Her pants came in short bursting gasps. “Me neither.”
Since she finally opened the door, he asked, “Are you watching for him?”
“Yes.” Another facet of Copper he loved. She had the best poker face on the planet, told lies so smoothly when needed, he never questioned her belief in the lies. With him? And likely with John, too, she possessed the harshest sense of honesty. No sugar-coating, no apologies. “Not entirely sure why I’m watching. Or what I want. If I want to make sure I’m not seeing him again, or if I’m terrified I won’t.”
Talking to the woman he loved about the man she loved was a kick in the crotch, but he pressed on past his discomfort. It might be difficult for him, but she was in hell. He would willingly suffer rather than leave her there alone. She stopped walking and lifted her leg, catching her foot in her hand and stretching her thigh.
“I hear you,” he said, choosing his next words carefully. “I’m watching to make sure whatever he does next, you agree with. If you don’t, and he oversteps—then I’ll take care of it.”
Pausing, Copper raised her eyebrows. “You sounded pretty damn butch right there.”
“I may be educated and pretty modern where you’re concerned, I can live with your lover being alive. I can even live with you dealing with your feelings where he’s concerned.” No matter what it cost him. If he’d lost Copper and moved on only to find out she was alive? He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the concept. Either way… “I will not now, nor ever, allow anyone to abuse you.”
“Brad wouldn’t.” Her frown and her tone said otherwise, but calling her on her bullshit was a card he played only when absolutely necessary. “At least, not intentionally.” She’d filled him in on Brad’s explanation for their ‘playing dead,’ and he knew she still struggled with the information. What Gabriel hadn’t shared with her was the challenge Brad issued that day at the lake.
Not much of a game if he wasn’t going to even show—or was it? Because she was worried. “We can ask, sweetheart.” If the others didn’t want to give answers, well, he and Sachi also knew how to get them. Especially since they knew what to look for where Brad was concerned. All she really needed was a plan, something to navigate through the swamp of emotion.
Stretching one leg, then the other, she sighed. “You know what I need is a plan, but a plan requires a goal or a destination. I’m flying blind on this one.”
Smiling faintly at her verbalizing his thoughts, he said, “Are you really flying blind, or are you trying to protect my feelings?”
A pause. “I told you I love him. Granted, I was drunk when I said it, but it’s still true. If I’m trying to protect your feelings, I would be kind of sucking at it, wouldn’t I?”
Laughing once, he nodded. “Very true.”
“You haven’t asked me.”
“Asked you if you love me too?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah.” She’d never said the words. Not once in all the months since saying she wanted him to stay. He’d told her, but she’d never responded in kind.
“I don’t need to ask.” During his tenure as a CIA field agent and later as an analyst, his superiors questioned the calls he made in his files. They couldn’t see the rationale based on the evidence presented. Gabriel trusted his gut. He was damn good at reading people, reading situations, and disseminating information. He couldn’t always draw the lines from A to B to C, but he could navigate even through murky waters.
“Really?” Surprise filtered through her expression.
“Really.” Catching her chin in his fingers, he leaned over and brushed his lips to hers. “You wanted me to stay, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“You come home to me from every mission, don’t you?”
The corner of her mouth tilted. “Yes.”
“You let me in, didn’t you?”
A sigh. “Yes.”
“That’s all I need, sweetheart. That, and for you to be happy.” Something she wasn’t at the moment. “See, I have faith in all the things you don’t say.”
Her nose wrinkled, and she gave him a shove. Chuckling, he swooped in and dragged her closer. “I’m all hot and sweaty.”
“So am I.” Swinging her around, he began to sway, and she rested her hands on his chest.
“What are we dancing to?”
“Whatever the hell we want to dance to. You need more dancing in your life—more dancing, more laughter, and more smiling.” Keeping her moving, he zeroed in on her troubled eyes. “The problem you’re facing right now is who are you, and you aren’t sure what you’re supposed to be. You asked me once who I wanted you to be…”