“You know,” he said. “I’m glad we’re finally getting a minute.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. We really hadn’t, not since he helped me record the song for Archie. “I wanted to tell you thank you. Archie really loved the song.”
“I’m glad,” he told me as he paused near the covered porch and leaned against the railing. Looping his arms around me, he tugged me to him. We were in the shadows with only a couple of dim outdoor lights offering any illumination. The cloudy skies overhead added to the general darkness. “I’m also really glad I’m here.”
“You kissed me today.” I ripped the Band-Aid right off. While we hadn’t avoided the topic per se, we hadn’t really addressed it either, and the guys hadn’t commented.
“I did,” he murmured, then reached up to brush some of the hair away from my damp forehead. “I plan on kissing you again.”
“You do, huh?”
“I do.” The smile in his voice tugged at me. “I want to kiss you and make up for every single time I didn’t when I wanted to.”
My stomach see-sawed a little. “Ian…”
“Angel? I’m in. No more hesitation. You take all the time you need to forgive me. I know I need to earn it. But from the moment you said goodbye to me, it hit me what an enormous jackass I’d been. You were right, you deserved so much better. You deserved someone who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to go for it. I might be slow…but you’re where I want to be and who I want to be with. Think you can give me another chance?”
The sick, fluttery feeling was back in full force. “What if you change your mind again?”
“Not gonna happen,” he promised.
“Ian, you don’t know that.”
He cupped my chin when I would have looked down and kept my gaze up. “I know what it’s been like since you broke up with me. I know you’ve fought to stay my friend, even when it was hurting you. I know a lot of crap happened between then and now. But there’s good things too. I know what I lost, Frankie. I know what I want back, too. I’m not changing my mind. I’m not assuming you will or you won’t. I’m just asking to be here with you, to have a chance to prove to you that you weren’t wrong about me that day in the pool.”
The first time we kissed.
“I screwed up,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I know,” I answered him. “I am too. I’m sorry it was so hard for you that I’m…”
“Honest?” Challenge inhabited the word. “You haven’t lied to me. I see how you feel about them. I just want a chance for you to be able to feel that for me, too.”
Swallowing, I laughed a little. “You’re kind of an idiot.”
“I think we established that.”
“I’m kind of an idiot, too.”
“What’s the point of having friends if you can’t bitch, moan, and be idiots together?” He had a point.
“If you get scared again, talk to me first?”
“Promise. If I can’t find the words, I’ll fight to find them. I won’t just make sweeping decisions.”
“You know I want to trust you?”
“Yeah?” Surprise filtered through his voice.
“Yes,” I told him. “I don’t know if I do…all the way yet. But I want to. But I’m scared, too.”
“What are you scared of?”
“Everything some days. Of being selfish. Of making the wrong choices. Of not getting into college. Of getting into college. Of getting my emancipation. Of not getting it.” Then I focused on him. “Of caring about you guys and losing you.”
“You won’t lose,” he promised. “I’d tell you I’d follow you anywhere, but that’s a little stalkery.”
I laughed.