“I’m not going to make this a thing,” I said finally. “If you don’t want to date me…”
“I do want you,” he said simply, like it should be crystal clear no matter what hekept telling me. “But that’s not what you need.”
“Why don’t you let me decide what I need?” Seriously.
“Because I care too much to let you tear yourself apart.”
Impossible. Stubborn. Sweetheart. Asshole.
The last two words crashed into each other. Assheart?
Sweethole? Yeah, maybe not that one.
A laugh burst out of me. Inappropriate? Probably. “It really is a good thing you’re pretty,” I told him, and then pushed up on my toes and kissed him. He gripped both of my biceps, but he didn’t push me away, and I didn’t press to deepen the kiss.
If he didn’t want todate, then I guess I had tounderstand.
Didn’t mean I had to take it lying down either. When his lips parted, I pulled back. Heat had already swept through me, and my lips tingled. His grip on my arms tightened for a beat.
“That’s one,” I told him.
“One what?”
“I’ll give you three more. If you’re still out after because you want out…then I’ll understand.” No, I wouldn’t. I’d be hurt. But I was a big girl. Dating was harder than I expected. Better than I expected. More terrible than I expected. “I won’t make decisions for you. I think I’ll even trust you to handle working so closely with Sharon and Patty. Since you can make them say yes so easily.”
He flinched on the last comment.
Did that make me bitchy?
“But we need to go. Because the guys are waiting.” My phone had started buzzing a few minutes earlier, but I’d been ignoring it. It took everything I had to paste on a smile. My mother did stuff like this. Blow hot and cold. The best thing to do was humor it until it passed.
He opened his mouth, but I didn’t wait for him to finish the thought. We needed to go. Because if we stayed here, I’d either end up crying or begging him to change his mind—and I absolutely refused to do either.
If he was telling me he needed out for him, I’d hate it, but I’d do my damnedest to understand. Having him tell me he wanted out because I was too stupid to make my own decisions stung a lot.
Outside, Jake and Coop stood next to Jake’s SUV, and Ian let out a sigh when he saw them. Honestly, so did I. Probably not for the same reasons. “Hey,” I said. Look at me smile. “You guys didn’t have to wait.”
Jake glanced from Ian to me, then back. “Sure we did. Wanted to make sure everything was all right. We good now?”
“Sure.” I still had my bikini in my hand. “Actually, I’m gonna put this in my backpack, okay?”
Coop frowned. Don’t ask, I mentally pleaded. Just don’t ask.
I glanced at my watch. It was later than I thought. “We should get going. Poor Archie is waiting.”
“Yeah,” Coop said slowly as he moved aside so I could open the backdoor. My backpack was on the seat, and I set the bikini on top of it.
Jake and Ian were staring at each other.
If I made this a thing, there was going to be a fight. I didn’t want them fighting. Being understanding sucked. Then again, I wasn’t the only stubborn person I knew. I got it, Ian wanted to do what he thought was best.
I didn’t like it. But I could pretend. Maybe he’d get it through his thick skull.
He had three more kisses to figure it out.
That was the deal I made with myself.
Done, I closed the door and gave Coop a pat on the shoulder. “I’m with Ian. Try to keep up.”