"I’ll miss you too, kiddo. I wish it could be different. But sometimes you just gotta listen your mom. You take care, okay?" I thought Kenny felt as bad for having to say that to me as I did for saying it to him. The whole time I was on the phone, Mom stood in the doorway to my room watching, listening, and not saying a word.
Into the quiet on the phone, I’d said, “Hey, Kenny?"
"Yeah, Frankie, I'm still here."
"I know I’m only twelve, but in six years I'll be eighteen, and if you still want to go to movies and stuff, you can still be my movie buddy." And I glared at my mother the entire time I said it.
He’d chuckled and said—something inane. What was he going to say to a twelve-year-old that just said she’d go out with him when she was eighteen? It had been a stupid thing to say, but I’d been so mad at my mom. IlikedKenny. I didn’t always like the guys she dated, but I wanted her to be happy.
Why couldn’t she have been happy with him?
After I got off the phone, Mom walked out of my room with her phone in hand and not saying a word.
I didn't really see her for the rest of the day. I had to tell Coop when he came over that we couldn’t go to movies anymore because Kenny was gone. Then I had to tell him why.
He stared at me like I’d grown a second head. I couldn't blame him, because it kind of felt that way. Kenny was my friend. I thought Mom really liked him. They’d dated for over year. They had dated long enough that he actually spent the night in the apartment every now and then. Not often. Mom was very strict about the fact the people she dated didn't stay at our place. Still, I never forgot him, and I hadn’t seen him again. If Mom had?
Would I even know?
As I sat on the bed in my room drinking my coffee, that scene replayed itself over in my head, over and over and over again.
Did I have calling Archie's dad and breaking up with him for my mom to look forward to in my future?
Or worse, would he end up having those visiting privileges because they’d been seeing each other long enough?
Wait. How long had Mom and Archie's dad been seeing each other? She'd been dating someone since the end of my junior year. All those business trips over the summer—and part of the reason I hadn’t been able to tour colleges—had they actually been business trips? Or had they been a way for her to go out with Archie’s dad?
I hated the fact that I had to ask myself these questions.
By the time I finished my coffee, the residual drowsy, groggy, headachy, I felt like crap feeling had passed. I was just tired. It was still early, but I had laundry and homework to do because I hadn’t done any Friday night, and nothing got done on Saturday. I had stuff that was due the following week. I was way behind on my study schedule. And I didn't have to go to work today.
That made my decision for me, I went to get my laundry sorted so I could take it over to get the clothes washed. As I was sorting it out, I found Archie's T-shirt and his sweats along with Jake's boxers.
I still had no idea what I was going to do.
Steeling my spine, I went ahead and sorted their clothes in with mine. It wasn't like they didn't need to be washed. That idea, however, took my attention to the bed. Technically, I should strip it and wash the bed sheets and comforter. But I really didn't want to wash the sheets, and I really didn’t want to wash the pillowcases.
I was pathetic; I didn't want to wash them, because I didn't want to wash the scent off. I didn’t know when the next time was that they would be over—if at all. It wasn't because of what they wanted, but because I didn't know what I wanted.
So I compromised. I pulled the comforter off to wash it and left everything else in place.
Laundry gathered in the basket, I slung on my backpack so I could take my homework with me and got quarters out of the jar I kept on my dresser. As I turned around, I paused and stared at the roses sitting on the desk by the window. The very first rose had begun to wilt. The second two had opened full, but were now starting to droop. The three were just now blooming, while the four and the five looked like they were going to any time now. I needed to refill their water when I came back up.
I thought about the note that I'd gotten the night before. The only reason I went to the party was to set the boundaries with the guys. To hold them accountable for what they had decided to do. The only reason I stayed was so that I could meet this person, because they said they were going to be there. Then, it turned out I was too sad for them to see. Hence the note.
Great, I went from being untouchable to being sad. Such an improvement.
Seizing my basket, I snagged my keys and headed for the door. I was halfway to the laundry room when it hit me; I still had to go get my damn car.
* * *
Laundry took a couple of hours.During that time, I managed to get most of my reading done for AP European history, about 1/3 of the paper for AP Lit drafted, I even had time to do some calculus. Three of the problems on the calculus homework made me pause, however, and I was half tempted to pick up my phone and text Ian, because they were the kind of problems that usually gave him issues.
The fact that my fingers twitched and itched to reach for my phone made me not do it. It was still on do not disturb from the night before, and I hadn't turned the sound on yet. Actually, I hadn’t even looked at it. I was being chicken.
I was halfway through folding the last load when Coop appeared in the doorway.
That was predictable.