“I’m sorry, Marsha. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“I’m guessing at least some of that is sitting out there on fourteen?”
Ducking my head, I took a sip of the coke rather than answer.
“That’s what I thought. Those guys come in here often enough. I know you’re all friends, so what’s going on?” Marsha gave me a kind, but firm look. “It’s none of my business, but sometimes venting can help. I’m an ear—and a vault.”
“It’s—I’m just mad at them. It’s not something they did, but what they were planning to do.”
“Okay, what were they planning to do?”
As much as I hated to admit it, I really needed to talk to someone, and she coaxed most of it out of me—including the fact I was dating all of them. I edited some of the details—specifically, the sex-based ones. Marsha listened without comment and her expression remained sympathetic.
“Well, I’m with you. That was a pretty crappy thing to plan,” she said. “But… he told you what they were planning it. That has to count for something.”
“He only told me because I told him that Mathieu and I wouldn’t be dating after this. If I hadn’t said anything, he wouldn’t have, and then—they’d have set it up and…”
“And if the boy—because they areallboys—went for it, you would have been humiliated even if you weren’t planning on seeing him anymore.”
I nodded slowly. “Maybe not as much as I would have been when theystartedplanning this.”
“You mean before they asked you out.” It wasn’t a question. Leaning back in her chair, Marsha tapped her fingers. “Those four don’t mind you seeing anyone else among them, just no one outside of them.”
With a shrug, I said, “I think so. But now I have to wonder—if they were willing to sabotage me to make sure I wouldn’t see someone not them, what happens when they decide I shouldn’t be seeing anyone else in the group? Does it tear apart a friendship we’ve had forever?”
The more I put that into words, the more I realized we were right back where I’d been at the beginning of the year. Only, now, I knew how they felt, but I was still alone.
“Sweetie,” Marsha said, covering my hand. “Three things. First, you can’t take responsibility for the choices of others. You value your friendships; you value them as people. This is never a bad thing. They can respect that and show their respect, or you don’t need to bother with them at all. They were right—if the guy had gone for it, he didn’t deserve you. If they do shit like this,theydon’t deserve you either.”
My gut knotted. I’d missed them over the summer, even when I’d been fuming at them. We’d all been making plans and now…
“Second, relationships are complicated, and guys are kind of stupid.”
I almost laughed at her bland delivery.
“It sounds like they meant well, but they were also selfish. It’s a learning curve… Punishing them is a good idea. Not talking to them drives it home, but don’t hold onto it so much it hurts you. Set boundaries, with them and with yourself. Make it clear, then… if they do it again, it’s a pattern of behavior, and you’ll know whether they’re worth it or not. But the most important thing—valueyourself. They don’t define you. You do.”
Biting my lip, I nodded. Some of the knots in my gut loosened even if I didn’t feel that much better.
“Third, go ahead and take off early. Go home, take a nap, eat something and then make a decision about the party. If it were me? I’d go. I’d show them I am capable of having a good time with or without them. They want to be in your life, then they have to get their shit together.”
Marsha stood up, then held out a hand. “Come here.”
“What?” I asked as I rose and then suddenly found myself engulfed in a hug.
“You need a mom hug. Just so happens, I’m available.”
The hug was nice, and when I leaned my head against her shoulder, she smoothed a hand over my hair.
“You’re a sharp kid, Frankie. You’re going places. This feels impossible right now, but it gets better. Just give yourself some time to process the initial shock. Maybe it’s not as bad as you thought.”
I laughed some but the hug actually did help. My momneverdid this. I’d gotten a hug from Ian’s mom once that was a lot like this. Finally, when I pulled back a little Marsha let me go.
“I was going to ask for tomorrow off…”
“Done,” Marsha told me. “I meant it, you go on home. We’ll finish your tables and collect your tips.”
“I don’t like leaving you in a lurch.”