“A few other guys bullied me pretty badly, and I never really told my friends about it. I dealt with it. It was junior year when I finally had enough. I had just gotten my braces off, my mom bought me this special face wash that was helping. I punched one of them in the face three weeks before school ended. They suspended me for the rest of the year.”
She puts her hand on mine. Her eyes are full of sorrow.
“That summer, I hit the gym every day, and I built muscle fast. People didn’t even recognize me on the first day of my senior year and the bullies, they feared me. They knew I wasn’t fucking around anymore. It gave me a sense of accomplishment. I did that. I changed my narrative. I was done being the victim.”
“That’s why you walk around now with a little chip on your shoulder,” she says to me, but this time, she wasn’t being a smart ass.
“Yeah. The chip used to be a lot bigger. I took on this whole new persona, and I was glad to be on the opposite side for once. But I have been trying to change.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I can’t relate. I was always the fun one that had a good relationship with everyone. But they teased my brother a lot for having only sisters. People told him he would grow up to be a whiny sissy boy. I never wanted to punch kids more in my life.”
I laugh. “I get that.”
“I’m glad you told me. It makes sense now.”
“I know arrogance isn’t the best coping mechanism, but it was the easiest one to do. I don’t think I am better than anyone else. If anything, everyone else is better than me.”
“I doubt that.”
“I am pretty exceptional,” I say and pep my posture up a bit.
“Oh Lordy,” she says while rolling her eyes and moves her hand away from mine.
I grab it back and hold her fingers in my hand. I bring them up to my mouth and kiss them gently.
“Christina, I’m sorry that I rubbed you the wrong way. I didn’t do it intentionally. I hope you can forgive me.”
I look up to her through my lashes and let go of her hand. I see her eyes darting back and forth.Maybe I went too far.
“Oh, one more thing,” I say as I drink the rest of my beer. “Chris gave me a list of things to buy. Decoration stuff. And while I know I have an eye for design,” I wink at her, “I think you know your friend better than I do. Would you want to go shopping with me?”
“You are right. I would like to go.”
“Great.” I stand to leave, and she follows. “I’m gonna head home. I’ll see you in the morning, say around 9:30?”
I turn my head back and catch her checking me out. I don’t wear tight jeans for no reason.
“Take a picture, Chrissy.”
Her head whips up. “Right. Um, yeah, that works. See you then,” she says. “And I wasn’t staring, I was simply just waiting for you to keep walking.”
“Whatever you gotta tell yourself,” I say.
On my way home I can’t stop thinking about what I told her. I don’t like opening up to people. They tend to be judgy, but we are going to be in each other’s lives. Maybe not always but when she comes to visit, I want it to be pleasant.
Chapter nine
Chrissy
Troyshowsupatthe house right on time. I grab my purse and open the door, and I see two coffees in his hands.
“I brought morning fuel,” he says.
I reach out for one. “You’re a lifesaver. I slept like crap.”
Because all I could think about was how awful I have been to this guy. I tossed and turned half the night. I know it’s not all my fault, but I should really take a page from Sarah’s book, and give grace more often.
I hold the warm cup to my chest as I follow him to his truck.