Bzz. Looking down I see an oh to familiar number. “Cillian.”
“What the fuck, Aisling? Where have you been? We have been worried sick.” Shit. If he has been worried so has my other big brother Liam.
“It is a long story and I can’t get into it right now, but I am fine. How are you?”
“Nice try dodging the question. What the hell is going on and why is your phone registered to a man named Jozef?” What the hell?
“How do you..?” My question is interrupted by a woman’s voice from his end. I hear something shuffle and then the phone muffles. Is my brother with a woman? Seems a lot of things have changed. Cillian has never dated as far as I can tell. At one point, my mom despaired she would never have a grandbaby from her eldest son.
The line clears and I hear him say, “Be patient little flower. Calm your ass down.” Oh. Well, ok.
“Uhm, do you want to call me back?” I ask into the phone not sure I want to hear my big brother talking dirty to someone.
“No. I’m sorry. That was your new sister in law.” he says so nonchalantly like he didn’t just tell me I missed a chunk of his life.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“My wife. Daffodil.”
“Your wife? Wow. I mean… whoa. No. I mean congratulations!! When did this happen?”
“About three months ago. Mom and dad have met her.” I have missed so much being afraid and trying to hide what I was dealing with. “Oh. You are going to be an aunt as well.” Holy shit.
“Cillian, that is amazing. I am so happy for you.” I really am. I am just so damn sad to be so out of the loop.
“How is Liam?” he doesn’t say anything for a minute and then says the one thing that lets me know I am once again not in the know.
“You should call him and find out.” Crap. “Now, back to the real question. Where the hell have you been, Aisling? Mom and dad have been sick with worry. I got a report that you were somehow working for a mobster or some shit. Tell me it isn’t true.” How the hell does he get this information.
“Cillian, I swear I am going to tell all of you everything, but I can’t right now. I…” I hear a loud cry outside of the bedroom door. “I have to go. Call you soon.” Hanging up, I race to the bedroom door and follow the sound of cries downstairs to the living room.
I see Paulina in the living room, tears raining onto the carpet. My stomach begins to plummet. Heart beating too fast to catch up. “What happened?” I ask quietly. Praying that my silent words don’t yield loud answers.
Chiara, whose hand has not left Paulina’s back, looks up at me, face red and blotchy. “It’s Jozef. He’s been shot.” Oh God. I knew this was about him. My knees begin to buckle and I brace myself on the wall.
“Is he… is he alive?”
“He is in surgery. He was shot in the chest. We don’t know the extent of his injuries.” NO! No this can’t be happening. Oh God. Why is my stomach cramping? Hand on my belly desperately trying to abate the pain, I try to find the strength he always saw in me.
“I need to be with him. Someone has to take me to him.” Neither of them move and it makes the pain and the panic worse. “NOW! Someone take me to him right this instant.”
“Jakub said..”
“I don't give a shit what Jakub said. That is my man, the father of my child there. I need to be with him. I need to be there when they finish.” No. No. No. I haven’t had a panic attack since I was sixteen, but I feel it coming. Coupled with the cramping, everything begins to spin. I feel something wet between my legs. My hand slides down and when I pull it back up, my hand is covered in red. “Oh God, no. Not my baby.”
I hear what I assume is a cry of my name, but everything is spinning and then… nothing.
“Jozef. Jozef.” Why can’t I see him? Why isn’t he answering me?
“Aisling. Shh. Calm down.” That is not Jozef’s voice. I wish I could open my eyes. Oh God. Why is my… “No. My baby.” My eyes are barely open and I am frantically touching my stomach, trying to feel for a hardness that wasn’t there to begin with. “Aisling, sweetie, please calm down.”
Turning, I see Paulina at my side, trying to soothe. “My baby. Did I…”
“No. Your baby is just fine. See.” She motions toward the beeping sound and for the first time I register that there is something attached to my stomach and a machine with lines up and down.