“Is that my baby’s heartbeat?”
“Yes. It is strong. It was a bit erratic and they were worried once you fainted and wouldn’t wake up, but once they got you hooked up, they realized it was more about you and less about the baby.” What the hell does that mean? She smirks before continuing. “You are severely dehydrated and slightly anemic. Apparently the blood was some of your lining shedding. They said it can be quite common which just means you have to take it easy for a few weeks. Let it build back up. Let me alert the doctor you are awake.”
“How long have I been out?”
“A few hours.” My eyes close for a second and then I remember why I was calling for Jozef.
“Paulina, wait! Jozef. He is, I mean, where is he?” Her eyes dim and she drops her head.
“He lost a lot of blood. The doctors tried to…” I let out a wail, the walls crumbling around me. He’s gone. I lost him. I lost him and I was so busy running from something I didn’t understand that I failed to appreciate his love for me and our child. Oh God. What did I do? I wasn’t strong enough to be there for him.
“No. Please God no. No…not him.” I am hyperventilating and I can’t stop it. I hear someone saying something and then everything feels like I am in tilt-a-whirl.
“Can you wake up? Miss O’Doyle can you open your eyes?” Why would I do that when I lost the one thing I didn’t know I needed more than anything? He was the love of my life. “Ma’am, can you look at me?” I wish whoever it is would go away.
“Aisling. It’s Chiara and Jakub. Please wake up. Jozef needs you.” Why does everyone keep telling me to wake. Wait, did she say Jozef?” My eyes struggle to open. They feel like they are covered in lead. Each attempt to blink results in them opening further.
Finally, the light blinds me and I try to adjust. “Hey lil’ sis.” I follow Jakub’s voice and see him and Chiara looking at me with concern and pity.
“What happened?” Why is my voice so groggy?
“You were awake and then you… wouldn’t stop crying when Mama P tried to tell you about Jozef. They sedated you. It has been four hours.” Jesus. I am a mess.
“What about Jozef?” My heart is slowly wilting.
“He is in a medically induced coma. He lost a lot of blood. They tried to do an infusion while removing the bullet, but it hit an artery and he almost bled out. He is alive, Aisling.” Oh God.
With no thought I am ripping at my tubes and such, hellbent on getting out of the bed. “Wait. Let me get someone in here to unplug you and talk to you. Please don’t move,” Jakub says. He camouflages it like a plea but I hear the authority and I know Jozef would want me to listen to his brother so I do.
Twenty minutes later I have been discharged, given instructions on how to recover and take better care of myself and now I'm walking into the hospital room of the man I love. “Oh God.” Hand to my mouth I try to hide the whimper. “Mo laoch.” I call him my warrior because even now, in a hospital bed, in a deep sleep, body covered in bandages, he still looks strong and formidable.
Grasping his hand, I lean over him and put my mouth to his. “You have to get better, my love. Our baby needs you. I need you. I can’t do this and don’t want to without you, Jozef. Please.” I kiss him once more and allow the tears falling down my face to touch his cheek. “I know I doubted you and tried to push you away. That was my fear. A fear I spent too much time entertaining. I am done being afraid, my warrior, my protector, my love. I am ready to walk any life with you, as long as it can be as your wife and best friend. But you have to wake up.”
The alternative is too unbearable to consider. Even knowing that, there is nowhere I would rather be. I would sit beside him for eternity if it meant he would one day wake up. He and our child are my hope. My future. My path. I just need him to join me.
EPILOGUE
AISLING
THREE MONTHS LATER
“Does your back still hurt?” Chiara comes floating into the kitchen, smiling as usual looking fresh and ethereal.
“No. Today is a good day. I just wish he didn’t want to perform acrobatics on my bladder.” as if he knows I am talking about him he starts moving. “How are you feeling?”
“Great.” she says touching her own baby bump. “Do you need any help with anything?”