“Aww, missing having Scotty as your trusty wingman?”I tease.
“Nah, just finding I’m over that whole scene.”
I gasp melodramatically.“No, notyou.God, whatever will the women of Chicago do now?”
Luc snorts.“Yeah, I’m sure they’ll cope.”
We fall quiet, the mood a lot less tense now.But I still don’t know what to think about Luc’s reaction last night.
As he turns into my parents’ street it hits me that time is running out to get answers while the events are still fresh.
“Luc, you know Iamallowed to date, right?I’m not the same teenager you met all those years ago.Ihavegone on dates during the past three years I’ve been back.”
“I haven’t exactly been living the life of a monk either, right?Well, lately, sure ...”
I roll my eyes but can’t say I don’t like the fact he’s not sleeping his way around town.
“I don’tknowwhy I acted like a dick, okay?I saw you were drunk and maybe I was hyped up from the fire and surprised that you were looking like—” He clamps his mouth shut but there’s no way I’m letting him get away with not finishing his sentence.
“Looking like what, Luc?”
“Just leave it.It doesn’t matter anyway.”He pulls into a parking spot outside my house and switches the engine off.I turn and lean my back against the passenger door, not missing his tight jaw and conflicted expression.
I reach over and rest my hand on his forearm.His muscles jump under my palm.“Luc ...”I warn him.Don’t censor yourself around me now.“Just tell me.”
He spins in his seat to face me, his gaze meeting mine.“You looked gorgeous, okay?Like, fucking stunning.You didn’t mean to showmethought, did you?Was that meant forhim?”
I look down at my lap.“Kinda sent that photo to you instead of Vi.”
“You couldn’t just say, ‘Sorry, wrong number?’”
“Well Icould’ve.Might’ve avoidedthisawkward conversation I guess.”
He nods, his brows scrunching together in an expression that I’ve come to know is his thinking face.“I think it was a combination of seeing you at a scene and being worried about you, then seeing you looking likethatand realizing that you were on a date, then seeing you watch Perfect Brock like he’d hung the moon when I’m so used to being the one you look at like that.”His words rush out of him in a deluge, and they shock me so much that all I can do is sit there and let them hang between us.
He knows I have feelings for him.He knows, and he likes it.
But he doesn’t see me in any way other than as his doting best friend, Lonnie.
His girl ...Never to be his girlfriend ...
I didn’t think things could get worse, but his inadvertent truth has just slapped me in the face.
“Oh,” I whisper, pulling my hand back into my lap.His eyes go wide as if he’s just realized what he’s said.
“Fuck!I didn’t mean—”
“Yeah, you did.And that’s okay, Luc.I'm a big girl, I can take the truth, and we always said we’d be honest with each other.”
He huffs out a huge sigh and leans his arms onto the steering wheel, resting his forehead down.We sit there in silence.I don’t know what—if anything—there is left to say.I’m in love with my best friend, he knows it, and he’s happy living with that knowledge.
Luc turns his head, resting his cheek on his arm, and stares over at me.“It’s not ...I mean, I just don’t ...”
“Iknow,Luc.”
“I don’t think you do.It’s like we were fine and then last night happened, and seeing you on a date, it just hit me in the face that there’s this other side of you that you’ve kind of lost lately, and I got to thinking that maybe that’s because of me.”
My breath catches as he continues.