I feel that twinge again, that need for what they can give me that no one else can. An outlet, a way to release all the pent-up rage and grief in a different way than I can do on my own. I can go to the gym and punch bags all day, fight Jaxon, sweat out as much of it as I can, but nothing can compare to the release I get from letting them punish and pleasure me until every ounce of emotion is wrung out of me.
But not yet. First, I have something else to deal with.
And I’m pretty sure I know exactly where to find him.
---
Unsurprisingly, Jaxon is exactly where I’d thought he would be. I catch a glimpse of him going through shadow boxing moves in the ring, his eyes focused somewhere beyond me as I walk in, not even noticing me at first. I don’t give him a second to do so; I stride directly towards the ring instead, dropping my bag at the door and walking all the way to the ropes.
I slip between them, and Jaxon swivels, startled as he catches sight of me. His eyes darken almost immediately, his face hardening.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he growls, anger written over every line of his face, and I just smile coldly back at him.
“I want to find out why the fuck you thought you could leave me passed out in the cold yesterday.” I tip my chin up so he can get a better look at the necklace of bruises he left on my throat, not purple yet, but a faint dark shadowing across my throat. “Why you thought you could put your hands on me like this.” I circle him slowly, rocking on my toes, ready for anything.
“You know why,” Jaxon growls. I can see the evidence of what Cayde and Dean did to him on his face too—the bruises on his jaw, the swollen lip, the bruising beneath his eyes. The three of them all did a number on each other, but I’m not here to worry about that.
I’m here to make sure Jaxon and I work out our shit before it can go any farther.
“Why?” I challenge, glaring at him. “Because of Natalie?”
“Don’t you fucking say her name.” Jaxon lunges towards me, swinging, but I block him. “Don’t fucking talk about her.”
“She was my half-sister.” I rock forward, throwing a punch that he easily dodges. “I can talk about her if I like.”
“You didn’t even know her.” He swings again, and I block, going for the headlock right after. He slips away easily—the two of us could do this dance for a long time, probably, considering how hard he worked to train me. “You can’t call her that. She was nothing to you, and everything to me. And you didn’t even bother telling me—”
“I’m sorry for that.” I put my fists up in a guard, watching for him to make another move. “I should have told you, I know that. But it doesn’t make what you did okay—”
“You wanted to hurt me,” Jaxon growls, balancing in his own stance as we circle around one another. “Fucking own up to it.”
I shake my head fiercely. “No, Jaxon. I didn’t want to hurt you. That’s why I didn’t—”
“Fuckingliar!” He almost shouts it, coming for me again. We trade punches, his fist glancing off of my arm, and I wince as I steady myself. “You don’t give a shit about me. You just wanted to collect me for your little plan to keep anyone in the house from winning. None of this ever had anything to do withme.”
“That’s not true.” I shake my head again, backing up. “And it wasn’t all about the game. I wanted you, Jaxon, I’ve wanted you since I first came here, even when I felt like I shouldn’t wantanyof you. You’re the only one that I’ve felt has tried to have my back since the start—”
“And look what I fucking got for it. You fucking disgust me.”
Jaxon lunges for me again, and this time, there’s no chance of us talking as we trade blows. This isn’t a training fight, it’s arealfight, and I can tell that he’s not worried about the chance of hurting me. In fact, I almost think he might want to, and I shove all thoughts of how to respond to his accusations out of my head as I focus on just fighting back, blocking his blows and throwing strikes of my own, the two of us circling each other like cobras waiting to strike as we throw every ounce of anger and resentment we’re both holding into the fight.
For a moment, I think I’m going to lose, and for the first time I’m afraid of what might happen if I do. Jaxon’s anger is real and palpable, and I feel a rush of fear as he nearly takes me down. There’s no one here to stop him from going further than he did last night, no one to stop him from fully taking his anger out on me. Whatever he blames me for, we won’t get a chance to work it out if he kills me first. I’ve never really been afraid of Jaxon before—but there’s a first time for everything, I guess.
The only thing I can do is take him down instead. Which is exactly what I do, redoubling my efforts to block his strikes and punches and grappling with him until I nearly have him in a headlock. That move is a hard one to execute well on Jaxon—he’s stronger and bigger than I am, and I might not be able to hold onto him for long. So instead while he’s focused on avoiding that, I go for sweeping the leg at the same time, hoping to catch him off guard.
It works. He goes down with a yell, hitting the mats as I follow him down, straddling him as I grab his shoulders with my hands and his hips with my thighs, wrestling him onto his back.
Fuck. The moment I wind up astride him I can feel him through his gym shorts, hard as hell and pressing hotly against me through the thin spandex of my own workout leggings. He’s still glaring up at me, his jaw clenched, and I can’t resist. The moment of power over him is too much, especially after what he did to me yesterday, and I rock down onto him, grinding myself against him as he groans suddenly, twisting to try to get out from under me.
I don’t let him, though. I rock all of my weight down onto him, holding him with my hips and pinning him down as I feel him, solid and throbbing through the two layers of clothing, and I grin almost viciously down at him as I writhe atop his tensed body.
“Fuck—get off of me!” Jaxon snarls, but I just laugh.
“Like you got off of me yesterday?” I keep grinding against him, feeling him swell and pulse against me. “Ooh, it feels like you like that. I don’t think you want me to stop. I think you want me to keep going—just…like…this…”
Jaxon groans again, twisting underneath me, but I can feel his resistance slowing. I can tell it feels good, that he wants more of it, and I keep rocking my hips, rubbing along the thick length of him. His shorts are so thin that I can feel the lump of his piercing each time I slide up to the tip, and he twitches beneath me as I focus on that for a moment, wriggling against the head of his cock and that bump of his piercing. The temptation to let myself go is strong—it feels good, pressing against my pussy and clit as I wiggle there, but I force myself to focus. This isn’t about my own pleasure, it’s about making Jaxon lose control, about making him realize that I’m the one in charge now. That he can’t just fucking treat me any way he wants.
“Oh—fuck—” he groans, that anger and control slipping away as he starts to fall prey to the pleasure rippling through his body. “I can’t—oh—fuck—”