“I can’t tell you just yet. You’ll just have to trust me that it’s good.” Even in the darkness, I can see Dean grinning. “But we’ll do it on Halloween if you want. There will be so much going on that night, no one will even notice us, most likely. But you have to agree to it.”
“Agree to something I don’t even know what it is?”
“Yes. But I promise you’ll like it. And Athena—I know you by now, even if you want to believe I don’t.”
Those last words stun me into silence. But what shocks me even more is when his arm goes over my waist, pulling me into the circle of his arms.
“Just sleep, Athena,” he says softly. “We’ll talk about it more later.”
And then, so quietly that I’m not even sure that I heard it—
“You’ll get your revenge. We all will.”
Jaxon
I’m fighting tonight.
Athena won’t be on the card, but she’s coming with me. Dean and Cayde agreed to it surprisingly easily—mostly, I think, because they’re hoping that her tagging along will scare her out of fighting herself once she sees how rough and brutal it can really be.
I don’t think it will. They know Athena is tough, but I think they’ve underestimated just how tough she really is. I, on the other hand, have never underestimated that.
It makes not giving in to how much I want her that much harder.
It’s even worse when I see how easy things seem to have become between them. Since Dean and Cayde decided to join forces instead of playing along with the bullshit game that our fathers forced into, like theirs before them, there’s a tentative peace in the house that feels almost more unnatural than what was happening before. I’d come home two nights ago to hear the sounds of them in the living room, Athena’s breathless gasps and manly grunts that could have been coming from either one of my two “best friends.” It had both infuriated and aroused me, a conflict of emotions that I’m becoming way more fucking familiar with than I’d like.
If I’d known it was an option to just tell our fathers and the town’s traditions to go fuck themselves, I might have taken up Athena on her offer to give me her virginity in the first place. Except—
I wouldn’t have because I know the kind of danger she’s putting herself in. A danger that she now knows all too well, also. And yet, she’s choosing to push forward anyway, even after the violent warning that very nearly cost her life.
It’s both colossally fucking stupid and admirable. But no matter how much I might respect her for refusing to be cowed by all of this, I’m also not going to let my feelings get wrapped up in another woman who will wind up getting herself killed.
That’s easier said than done, though. Especially when Athena comes down the stairs to meet me so we can leave for the fights, dressed perfectly for the occasion. She’s wearing skin-tight, ripped black jeans, her heavy Docs, a tight black tank top, and a black leather jacket thrown over that, her eye makeup a thick, angry black slash over each eye. Her usually loose black hair is braided back away from her face in a tight French braid, almost as if she were fighting tonight, which I know she’s not.
I just hopesheknows that.
“You know you’re not on the card tonight, right?” I ask, raising an eyebrow as she reaches the bottom of the steps. I force myself not to think of her standing there just a few nights ago, so close to me, her chin tilted up defiantly and her hand on my arm, and how I could have pulled her into my arms and kissed her, run my hands over her body and dragged her back to my room to taste every inch of it.
She’d let me. I know she would. And that’s the hardest thing to swallow every time I force myself to resist her or turn her down.
“I know,” Athena says, flipping her braid over one shoulder. “But I thought I’d try to look the part.”
“Well, you succeeded at that.” I try to keep my voice even, not let on how much her look is affecting me, or how much I want to skip the fight, drag her upstairs to my bed, and keep her there until I’ve pleasured her more thoroughly than Dean or Cayde could ever dream of. My dick is already trying to rise despite the confines of my boxers and my own tight jeans, and I shove the thought away. Trying to ride a motorcycle with a boner is no joke.
“Come on.” I jerk my head towards the door. “Let’s go before Dean or Cayde decides to change their minds about you coming along.”
I don’t have to tell her twice. She follows me out without another word, trailing behind me until we reach my bike, and I hand her the spare helmet. “It’s going to be a bit of a drive,” I warn her. “Tap me on the shoulder if I go too fast.”
Athena smirks at me, buckling the helmet underneath her chin. “Don’t worry. There’s no such thing as too fast for me.”
I believe her. So far, Athena has shown herself to be basically fearless, even when—maybe evenespeciallywhen facing down those who want to hurt her.
The feeling of her arms around me as I kick the bike into gear is better than it should be. I try not to think about the way they tighten as the bike speeds up or how I can feel her warm breath on the back of my neck. I tell myself that it’s just the wind, but the wind is cold, and that warm puff of air makes me think of how close her lips are to my neck. How if she leaned forward just a little, they could brush over my nape, making the soft hair there prickle and lift.
It’s been so long since I’ve touched anyone I cared about or had anyone that I cared about touching me. It feels like more than simple arousal, more than horniness. It’s an ache that I’ve tried to pretend for a long time that I didn’t feel, but having Athena here, her arms wrapped around my waist, and the weight of her leaning against my back, makes it feel nearly impossible to deny.
It wouldn’t be hard for me to find a girl to fuck, if that’s all I wanted. I could go out on campus and find someone, easy. But that’s no longer enough for me. Not after meeting Athena. Not after knowing what it’s like to want her.
Normally a ride like this would clear my head, the cold wind whipping past my helmet and clawing its way inside, the dark night wrapped around me, the asphalt slipping away beneath my wheels at a dangerous pace. But Athena so close to me only makes me think of both how much I wish she could be mine and how much I miss the woman who used to be, the one who used to wrap her arms around me like this even though she swore she hated motorcycles, who yelped with fear and clung to me the first time we rode on one, who later would throw her head back and howl at the moon like a girl turned wolf, laughing with delight as we sped around corners on the way to our spot, our place.